Uncomfortably (Ve)Numb

Despite his somehow enduring popularity, Venom is a conceptually rubbish character. He is born of a period in comics when publishers wanted to make their child friendly characters edgy and Spiderman media, be it comics, films, games or whatever else, tends to get worse whenever he shows up. "Kind of like the good guy but bad" is one of the most boring villain types to begin with and no writer has ever come up with anything interesting enough to make him deserve his top billing amongst the wall crawlers stacked rogues gallery. The previous two films managed to (somewhat) sidestep the blandness of the IP by hiring a great actor in Tom Hardy and letting him do Jim Carrey style physical comedy mixed with a heart felt love story between a man and his super powered alien parasite. Given it is the last in last in the trilogy, Venom : The Last Dance really wants to have epic stakes and emotional resonance, leaving little room for the things that made the first two movies watchable. Unfortunately it doesn't come close to nailing what it wants either.

The plot is as generic as we have come to expect of this franchise but with extra stupid. Hardy's Eddie Brock is drunk down in Mexico when he finds out he is wanted for murder following the showdown at the end of the last film and decides to head for New York, where he knows a judge who might be able to magically clear his name. Meanwhile, somewhere in a video game cutscene from the early 2000's, Knull, maker of the symbiotes (who are now good guys in complete contradiction of the first film), sits imprisoned by his creations for wanting to end the universe. To escape, he needs the creatively named "codex" which Eddie/Venom has because it's created when a symbiote's host dies and the symbiote brings them back to life. Who designed this flawed prison system is unclear but it handily sets up the stakes that either Eddie or Venom must die for the codex to be destroyed. The third interested party is a mysterious government agency based at Area 51, who have a bunch of symbiotes in jars that they are trying to bond to humans and want to capture our heroes. Last year Chiwetel Ejiofor was flexing his shakespearian acting muscle as one of the all time great comic book movie villains in Guardians of the Galaxy Volume Three. This year he is playing generic mercenary leader A and (presumably) cursing his agent. The film plays out as Eddie tries to make it to New York while being pursued by a generic monster sent by Knull and Ejiofor's generic mercenary unit.

Not that the writers need the plot to set up the events they want, they just jam them in there. Want a fight on top of plane? Just make Venom decide that hanging off the side of a passenger jet is an inconspicuous way to travel. Want Tom looking hot in a suit? Let's have him go to a casino. Want some Mrs Chen from the other movies? Have her randomly be in Las Vegas. The monster chasing the duo can only see that they are its target when they are in full symbiote mode so in order for them to ever be in danger they have to just choose to be. Add in some outrageously on the nose dialogue and the script feels distinctly underbaked. As in the previous movies, the effects are solid but not particularly imaginative which is a shame since with a bit more visual flair the final act showdown would have felt a lot more worthwhile.

There are some good spots here. Tom Hardy is still Tom Hardy and there is some humour in the clash of Eddie's increasingly schlubby and downbeat demeanour and Venom's childlike over exuberance. Rhys Ifans is kind of fun as a UFO obsessive taking his family to see Area 51 and it's always good to see Stephen Graham, even if he must be wondering why he bothered coming back. Events even get a little emotional, until they are hammered to the point of parody.

Given the series used its villain trump card in the last film, Venom: The Last Dance was always going to struggle to close out the trilogy on a high, but the stakes here are weak with the introduction of a truly absymal "big bad" who is going to need some serious reworking if Sony want to use him in the threatened Sinister Six movie. First time director Kelly Marcel doesn't really do anything wrong, the direction is on par with the other two movies, she just can't solve the fundamental problem of finding something interesting for this character to do.

5 never spoken about again dimensional hops out of 10.

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