Skip to main content

Dance of Death

John Wick spin off,  Ballerina, swaps out Keanu Reaves (mostly) for Ana de Armas but almost everything else remains pretty similar. We still have the intricately choreographed fighting in a dark gloss colour palette, minimal plot propped up by ridiculous lore and the same waffling dialogue. Series die hards rejoice, but for someone who zoned out somewhere during Chapter 3 and was distinctly unimpressed with John Wick 4, these films are becoming something of a chore.

Eve Macarro (de Armas) is orphaned at a young age when assassins break into her home in an attempt to abduct her and her father (also an assassin) dies fighting them off. She is then raised by the "Ruska Roma" (more assassins, roughly 40% of the worlds population are assassins in the world of John Wick), who train her in the arts of both ballet and murder. After somebody from the faction that killed her dad attempts to off her, she embarks on a revenge quest, despite being explicitly forbidden from doing so by Roma queen bee Angelica Huston. Turns out her targets are an ancient cult that even the other assassin groups are scared of, but that doesn't stop them becoming bullet, knife, grenade, fire and fist fodder as Eve kills her way to justice.

 Ballerina is at great pains to root itself firmly in the world of John Wick. There is plenty of time spent in the assassin friendly Continental hotels, Ian McShane's Winstone appears and talks in his usual pseudo-philosophical babble and there is a final appearance from the late, great Lance Reddick. Keanu himself appears in a not unsubstantial role, although its fairly obvious that his scenes were shot and added after the fact, presumably in an attempt to add some box office, and don't really add anything to Eve's journey. At two hours and change, the last thing the movie needed was superfluous scenes. 125 minutes isn't exactly a marathon runtime but with so little plot, action fatigue sets in long before the credits role. The pacing isn't great and it feels like what it is, a film that has gone through multiple reshoots over several years. It doesn't help that the villains are uniformly uninspiring, with Gabriel Byrne phoning it in as the cult's head honcho and none of his minions proving memorable.

The film does have an ace up its sleeve in leading lady De Armas. She has screen presence to burn and builds on the action chops she has already shown in the likes of "No Time To Die" and "Ghosted".  She brings a different flavour to the fights, they are more about survival than finesse, as she is thrown this way and that. There is also an attempt to craft some unique set pieces, with close quarter hand grenade fights and a flamethrower dual. It just isn't enough to cut through the white noise of constant action and with Len Wiseman's direction being serviceable rather than inspiring, its hard to stay engaged. 

For people who love the lore of the expanded Wickverse this will be a welcome addition, but with the bone crunching style of the earlier films becoming a distant memory, its becoming tougher and tougher to sit through the sheer po-facedness of it all.

5 grand jetes out of 10


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Husband and Strife

If the purpose of cinema is to make the audience feel something, then few films succeed as completely as The Drama. The fact that said feeling is one of wanting to curl up and die of awkwardness shouldn't even be taken as a warning. Like a masochist munching down on a giant bowl of ghost peppers, you will likely find every bite delicious.  Robert Pattinson and Zendaya play soon to be married couple Charlie and Emma. They have the picture perfect relationship. They have successful jobs, a beautiful Boston apartment and look like Zendaya and Robert Pattinson. Little differences in their attitudes toward a wedding dance rehearsal and their potentially drug smoking DJ hint they may not be completely on the same page, and when a drunken game leads to Emma disclosing something from her past, their relationship experiences some severe turbulence.  It's tricky to fully discuss The Drama without spoiling Emma's revelation (and it absolutely should not be spoiled), but it points to ...

Whisky in the Jar

Glenrothan has been sold as "a love letter to Scotland" and given that it features two of Scotland's most accomplished actors, whisky, folk music and stunning landscape shots, it's hard to argue. Is it anything more than that? Not really, but maybe that's OK.  Alan Cumming and Brian Cox (who also directs) are Donal and Sandy Nairn, estranged brothers and heirs to a beloved whisky distillery. Growing up, big brother Sandy was desperate to leave their idyllic village and its distillery behind, while Donal wanted to be nowhere else. Family issues resulted in them both leading the life that the other used to dream of, as Donal left for America and Sandy took over the family business when their father's health began to fail. When his blues bar burns down, Donal makes his first trip back to Scotland in forty years, accompanying his daughter and granddaughter to visit his ailing brother. A quick look at the trailer tells you everything you need to know about Glenroth...

Listening to the Sounds in Silence

The tagline for breakout indie horror hit Undertone is, "The Scariest Movie You'll Ever Hear". This declaration sets out the film's stall as a uniquely audio based horror, and that is exactly what it delivers. The result is something that will chill some people to the bone and leave others falling asleep in their seats.  Originally made for a meagre $500,000, the film takes place entirely in one location (director Ian Tuason's childhood home) and centres on podcaster Ivy, played with impressive range by Nina Kiri. Ivy is caring for her dying mother (the only other person who appears onscreen) so has to wait until the early hours of the morning to record her paranormal podcast with friend Justin (the voice of Adam DiMarco). She plays the role of sceptic to Justin's believer but her rationality is tested when her cohost begins playing some eerie audio files he received from an anonymous listener. Although Undertone isn't a found footage film, it very much t...

Fight For Your Right

The debate about the "Great American Novel" (a book that encapsulates the spirit and character of the United States) continues to rage. While One Battle After Another is loosely inspired by a book (Thomas Pynchon's Vineland), it feels like Paul Thomas Anderson's second stab, after "There Will Be Blood", at crafting the Great American Movie. This is a very different beast to his 2007 masterpiece, both in setting and tone, but is just as epic and wide reaching in its own way. Perfidia Beverly Hills (Teyana Taylor) is the leader of militant revolutionary group "The French 75" and her partner Pat Calhoun (Leonardo DiCaprio) is the team explosive expert. The movie opens with the self-styled freedom fighters breaking a bunch of detained immigrants out of a holding camp. This brings them into the crosshairs of Colonel Stephen J. Lockjaw who begins pursuing the group. After being arrested, Perfidia disappears, leaving Pat to raise their baby daughter in hi...

2023 So Far

 Loose ranking of everything I saw in the cinema during the first 6 months of 2023. Let's just pretend it isn't a month late.  23. The Enforcer Antonio Banderas does little enforcing in this weak thriller. One dimensional characters, laughable dialogue and an aimless plot make this a waste of everyone's time. May The Enforcer not be with you. 22. John Wick Chapter 4 Features another great physical performance from Keanu Reeves but not even he can overcome the twin threats of bloated runtime and expanded universe nonsense. There's the odd fun set piece but people rolling around shooting guns doesn't need to last nearly 3 hours. 21. Transformers : Rise of the Beasts After the clean slate of 2018 's Bumblebee, Rise of the Beasts takes a u-turn back towards the motorway pile up of the Micheal Bay days. Not as much of a mess As "Rise of the Extinction Samurai Knight Moon" (I'm sure that was the name of one of them), since you can actually f...

It Sure Does

 Love Hurts is Ke Huy Quan's first ever lead role. After decades out the game and struggling to keep his insurance prior to his Oscar winning turn in "Everything Everywhere, All At Once", you can hardly blame him for taking the chance to front a movie. Unfortunately, in Jonathan Eusabio's directorial debut, he has landed in a misfire. Quan plays Marvin Gable, a cheery real estate agent living his best life as he crushes the sales game and keeps everyone in the office (except for his depressed assistant) happy with his home baking. Unbeknownst to his colleagues he used to be a gangland hitman for his mob boss brother "Knuckles" and when the mysterious Rose, who Marvin was supposed to have killed, remerges, big brother dispatches the goons to get some answers from him. Cue high jinks as Marvin battles henchmen kung fu style while trying to keep his current and past lives from colliding. It's a fun idea but nothing quite comes together in the execution. Th...

Infinity Cruel

 Infinity Pool is first and foremost a critique of the kind of people who go to gated luxury resorts, the ones that have armed guards to keep away the impoverished locals. Therefore everyone here is disgusting. Uber handsome Alexander Skarsgard is a loser writer who spends most of the film sweating and dishevelled, Mia Goth goes from alluring to screeching alcaholic state, Thomas Kretchmann's local detective hates the entitled holiday makers but is happy to enable their explotation of his countrymen for financial gain. Pretty much everyone is morally bankrupt. This does create the slight problem of having nobody to get behind but that isn't really the point and this isn't the place you would find heroes. The plot revolves around an outrageous piece of (maybe) technology unique to the unamed country the film is set in. How a seemingly underdeveloped land came to posses such a thing is never really explored and neither are the ramifications of its existence beyond how they pe...

Fifty Shades of Chrononberg

 If you've been missing pure  David Chrononberg then Crimes of the Future has you covered. It has the lot; body mutilation, main character undergoing a metamorphosis, questions about what defines being human, integrity of the mind, the collision of different world views and pretty much every other recurring theme of his is present and correct. So needless to say, it isn't for everyone. The film takes place in the (possibly near) future, when most humans have evolved to no longer feel pain and in some cases grow mysterious new organs. Viggo Maortensen and Lea Seydoux play a pair of performance artists whose act revolves around removing Mortensen's excess organs in front of a live crowd. Fittingly, given its focus on artits, the film takes place in the orbit of the protagonists with little shown of the world at large. Everything is dingy and grimey, hinting things aren't going swimmingly, and there are vaugue hints at ecological disaster but the characters are all far mor...

Sinnerma

The later trailers for Sinners give away a major plot point that will be discussed in this review. It isn't a spoiler as such, since its integral to the nature of the film and its hard to see how the movie could have been advertised without showing it, but if you haven't seen the marketing, simply go and watch this astonishing work of film making and come back later. If you've already seen it, or know what kind of film it is, read on.  To date, director Ryan Coogler's big screen credits are; true story "Fruitvale Station", Rocky franchise sequel "Creed" and two MCU movies ("Black Panther" and its sequel). If you've marvelled at how he has managed to infuse those franchise movies with both deeply personal meaning and wide cultural themes, and wondered what he could achieve with a project that is purely his own, then Sinners is your answer and it is glorious. In a rare studio win, Warner Brothers deserve credit for funding a wholly origi...

The Show Won't Go On

The Last Showgirl opens with Pamela Anderson's Shelly Gardner standing awkward and alone on stage, lying about her age as she attempts a dance audition for the first time in decades. We then cut to the hustle and bustle of the dressing room of "The Razzle Dazzle", the Vegas show Shelly has been a part of for thirty years. Full of warmth and camaraderie, the life she is used to presents a stark contrast to the future she is facing. Outdated and playing to empty seats, the Razzle Dazzle is set to close in two weeks, prompting Shelly to contemplate life without the thing she has based her entire existence around. This is an understated and sombre character study, presenting a far less glamorous view of Sin City than we are used to seeing. The glory days of the Vegas showgirl have long passed and despite her being one of the scenes biggest stars, have left Shelly with precious little to show for her life beyond glorious memories. Here home is modest to say the least and estr...