2022 So Far

Halfway through the year and it's time to have look back and rank the movies of the year so far. To keep the list manageable I'm only including films I've seen in the cinema. If it ain't here I didn't see it on the big screen.

19. 355

Too stupid to be a serious spy thriller, too boring to be a fun romp. Also, for a film that is supposed to be about agents from different countries coming together, an abundance of lazy stereotypes give it a low key racist vibe. If you are looking for a fun female ensemble action movie check out 2019's Charlies Angels reboot instead.

18. The Matrix Reserection

Empty follow up starts out like it might have something interesting to say but soon settles into the cynical, corporate mandated sequel it mocks in its first act. You'll be begging for it to end long before the drawn out finale reaches its conclusion.

17. Jurassic World Dominion

A plodding script and phoned in performances from the returning cast make this a limp end (please) to the franchise. Had it trimmed down its unnecessary length it might have been worth checking out, for dino fans at least, but at two and a half hours plus there is zero chance you can't find something better to do with your time.

16. Morbius

The good thing about Morbius is that Sony know its a waste of your time so have hacked it down to a slim ninety minutes. The bad thing is they forgot to leave in any character, worthwhile stakes or anything else to care about. Shame as the superhero/horror combo had potential.

15. Scream

Nowhere near enough new ideas to justify dusting off this usually inventive film series. Has a couple of fun moments but making fun of bad modern movie tropes doesn't give you a pass to put them in your movie, it just makes it seem you are making fun of me for watching.

14. Death on the Nile

Once Brannagh's Poirot gets into mystery solving mode it's pretty entertaining but some distracting casting choices and crap CGI representations of places they could have just filmed at for real detract from the atmosphere. Doesn't reach the heights of 2017's Murder on the Orient Express

13. Moonfall

Roland Emmerich, the king of over the top 90's disaster movies, returns with basically an over the top 90's disaster movie. Science and logic go out the window in favour of spectacle and melodrama. Dumb fun if you don't mind you ability to suspend disbelief being stretched to the limit.

12. The Black Phone

Decent thriller that manages to take its time without dragging on and has some excellent performances. Unfortunately, if you have seen the trailer you know pretty much everything the film has in store. Still worth checking out for a couple of breakout child actor performances and Ethan Hawk's creepy serial killer.

11. Dr Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

Marvel continue the post Endgame trait of seemingly giving their directors more freedom and Sam Rami's signature is all over this sequel. Plays out more like a Terminator film as the heros are perused by an unstoppable force. Wastes some time trying to build sympathy for a villain that really doesn't deserve any but one of the more interesting Marvel films.

10. Ambulance

Two brothers trapped in an ambulance after a heist gone wrong sounds like the set up for a tight low key thriller. For Michael Bay it's a signal to blow more stuff up. It's one of his most entertaining films in years even though it misses about three opertunities to end better than it does.

9. Uncharted

First of two decent video game adaptations this year, who'd have thought. Tom Holland continues his journey to full on leading man status and Mark Wahlberg is a good foil as his older, more cynical mentor. It might be an inferior Indiana Jones knock off but there isn't much wrong with that.

8. Sonic the Hedgehog 2

Goofy humour for the kids, old video game references for the adults, Jim Carrey for everybody. Not every gag or story beat lands but its refreshing to see an action film aimed squarely at kids with none of the snark and cynicism of a Marvel movie. You'd need to be pretty miserable not to find any of this fun.

7. X

Essentially a 70's grindhouse flick with arthouse sensibilities. Might be a bit slow to get going for some fright fans and too gruesome for those who like more subtle horror but if you stick with it you'll see one of the best and most unique slasher films of recent years.

6. The Batman

By not shying away from the problems posed by a rich guy who thinks beating up the desperate is the best way to stop crime Matt Reeves and Robert Pattinson manage to find a new take on the titular character, an impressive feat in 2022. Its long but unlike most lengthy blockbusters the third act doesn't suck so you don't feel your time has been wasted.

5. Top Gun Maverick

80's classics getting dusted off for a modern retread don't have a great record and the chest thumping triumphalism of Top Gun should make it one of the hardest to bring up to date. Incredibly Maverick manages to nail the spirit of the original while adding just enough modern sensibilities and the necessary drop of melancholy. Better than it has any right to be.

4. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

An absolute must watch for Nicolas Cage fans but we'll worth checking out for everybody. You get several different flavours of Cage as he both pays homage to and pokes fun at his legend. A weak action ending is a slight letdown after the masterful character work that has gone before but it scarcely matters when Nic is on top form.

3. The Northman

What do you get when you give $90 million to a history and folklore obsessed autuer indy director? Apparently the answer is a blood soaked epic revenge tale based on a pre-Shakespearian Norse legend. It can be grim at times but is outstandingly shot and acted by people at the top of their game. Director River Eggers apparently disliked how much the studio interfered but the result is his most accessible (although not best) film to date.

2. Nightmare Alley

Bradley Cooper should be too old to play an upstart con man just beginning to try his luck as a carny but he has enough charisma that it doesn't matter and turns in his best ever performance. Del Toro's vision turns what could almost be a TV movie plot into an atmospheric must see. When you have the like of Toni Collette ane Willem Dafoe in supporting roles you know you have quality on your hands.

1. Everything Everywhere All at Once

Michelle Yeoh must deal with a tax inspection, build bridges with family members and save all of existence. You don't want to know any more than that before you watch one of the outstanding cinematic achievements of recent years. You'll gasp, you'll laugh, you'll cry. If you only watch one multiverse movie this year (or possibly ever) make sure it's this one.

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Whisky in the Jar

Glenrothan has been sold as "a love letter to Scotland" and given that it features two of Scotland's most accomplished actors, whisky, folk music and stunning landscape shots, it's hard to argue. Is it anything more than that? Not really, but maybe that's OK. Alan Cumming and Brian Cox (who also directs) are Donal and Sandy Nairn, estranged brothers and heirs to a beloved whisky distillery. Growing up, big brother Sandy was desperate to leave their idyllic village and its distillery behind, while Donal wanted to be nowhere else. Family issues resulted in them both leading the life that the other used to dream of, as Donal left for America and Sandy took over the family business when their father's health began to fail. When his blues bar burns down, Donal makes his first trip back to Scotland in forty years, accompanying his daughter and granddaughter to visit his ailing brother. A quick look at the trailer tells you everything you need to know about Glenroth...

Killing in the Name of

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Listening to the Sounds in Silence

The tagline for breakout indie horror hit Undertone is, "The Scariest Movie You'll Ever Hear". This declaration sets out the film's stall as a uniquely audio based horror, and that is exactly what it delivers. The result is something that will chill some people to the bone and leave others falling asleep in their seats. Originally made for a meagre $500,000, the film takes place entirely in one location (director Ian Tuason's childhood home) and centres on podcaster Ivy, played with impressive range by Nina Kiri. Ivy is caring for her dying mother (the only other person who appears onscreen) so has to wait until the early hours of the morning to record her paranormal podcast with friend Justin (the voice of Adam DiMarco). She plays the role of sceptic to Justin's believer but her rationality is tested when her cohost begins playing some eerie audio files he received from an anonymous listener. Although Undertone isn't a found footage film, it very much t...

Wasted Men

From Scum to Starred Up, neither the big nor small screen are short of brutally frank depictions of life behind British bars. Wasteman adds a taut, modern take to the pile and shows that life isn't getting any easier inside. Philip Barantini (creator of Boiling Point and Adolescence) is on board as a producer so you know it's going to feel real and the Safdie brothers were at one point attached to direct, so you know it's going to be gut-clenchingly tense. It doesn't disappoint on either front. David Jonsson plays long term convict Taylor. A timid drug addict, he cuts the hair of the top-dog inmates in return for a regular fix and is existing rather than living as the years of his sentence tick by when he gets some unexpected news. Prison overcrowding means he is up for early release, provided he can keep his nose clean for a couple of weeks, something made increasingly tricky by the arrival of his new cellmate Dee (Tom Blyth). Dee encourages Taylor to make contact wit...

Hell to Pay

They Will Kill You begins with a soaking wet Zazie Beetz waiting to start her maid job at swanky apartment building, The Virgil. Her character Asia is a former convict who has no idea her new employers are devil worshipers who sacrifice their staff to Lucifer. The building residents have no idea that Asia is actually there for reasons other than a steady paycheque and is not about to go gently into that good night. The touch paper is soon lit on a relentless blend of slapstick horror action that leaves little room for you to catch your breath across its ninety minute odd runtime. The most obvious comparison here is to 2019's Ready or Not and its sequel (which coincidentally released one week before this film), where an unsuspecting bride is left fighting for her life when her wealthy in-laws opt to make her a human sacrifice. While They Will Kill You shares that movie's comedic spirit we are much deeper into supernatural territory here. The grand old building and seemingly ...

Husband and Strife

If the purpose of cinema is to make the audience feel something, then few films succeed as completely as The Drama. The fact that said feeling is one of wanting to curl up and die of awkwardness shouldn't even be taken as a warning. Like a masochist munching down on a giant bowl of ghost peppers, you will likely find every bite delicious. Robert Pattinson and Zendaya play soon to be married couple Charlie and Emma. They have the picture perfect relationship. They have successful jobs, a beautiful Boston apartment and look like Zendaya and Robert Pattinson. Little differences in their attitudes toward a wedding dance rehearsal and their potentially drug smoking DJ hint they may not be completely on the same page, and when a drunken game leads to Emma disclosing something from her past, their relationship experiences some severe turbulence. It's tricky to fully discuss The Drama without spoiling Emma's revelation (and it absolutely should not be spoiled), but it points to ...

You Screen, I Scream

The worst thing about Scream 7 isn't actually the film itself. It's the at best cowardly, actions of production company Spyglass Media who fired the star of the previous two films, Melissa Barrera, for daring to have an opinion on genocide. In addition to leaving an icky taste in the mouth, this move cost them fellow star Jenna Ortega and the guy who was supposed to direct the seventh instalment Christopher Landon, resulting in a return to the drawing board to completely rework the film. The only actually good thing about Scream 7 is also nothing to do with the actual film. Series mainstay Neve Campbell missed the previous instalment after producers lowballed her, but the production chaos of their own making means they've had to go crawling back. So Neve returns with a reported $7 million payday, a producer credit and a story based solely around how legendary her character Sydney is. Go her. The actual film doesn't warrant much discussion at all, given it does little mo...

Fight For Your Right

The debate about the "Great American Novel" (a book that encapsulates the spirit and character of the United States) continues to rage. While One Battle After Another is loosely inspired by a book (Thomas Pynchon's Vineland), it feels like Paul Thomas Anderson's second stab, after "There Will Be Blood", at crafting the Great American Movie. This is a very different beast to his 2007 masterpiece, both in setting and tone, but is just as epic and wide reaching in its own way. Perfidia Beverly Hills (Teyana Taylor) is the leader of militant revolutionary group "The French 75" and her partner Pat Calhoun (Leonardo DiCaprio) is the team explosive expert. The movie opens with the self-styled freedom fighters breaking a bunch of detained immigrants out of a holding camp. This brings them into the crosshairs of Colonel Stephen J. Lockjaw who begins pursuing the group. After being arrested, Perfidia disappears, leaving Pat to raise their baby daughter in hi...

The Bourne IT

The set up for The Amateur is a well worn one, a man loses his wife in a terrorist attack and goes on a mission of revenge. The twist is, that while Rami Malek does play a man with a particular set of skills, they aren't the ones you would expect. Charlie Heller is a socially awkward CIA cryptographer with precisely zero fighting ability and no experience using firearms. He is though, a technological genious who invented half the agencies cyber security and can track and predict patterns like a computer. When his blatantly shady boss, played with smug glee by Holt Mccallany, refuses to act on Charlie's info about the killers he blackmails him for some training and the green light to pursue the perpetrators himself. The two main questions are, can the mild mannered tech guy thrive in the field and is this twist on the formulae enough to carry a fairly by the numbers espionage thriller? The answer to both is, pretty much, yes. Malek is tailor made for roles like this and it'...

Ghostbusted

Ghostbusters : Frozen Empire continues the trend of diminishing returns from Ghostbusters as a franchise. Worse, it's the first time a 'Busters film has fallen into outright bad territory. After the classic 1984 original 1989's sequel was considered a disappointment (although it raked it in at the box office) but still had the charisma of its predecessors iconic cast. The female led reboot in 2016 was fun action comedy but didn't stand up the legendary original. In 2021 they started again with Afterlife, pitching Ghostbusters as Stranger Things in order to move things to a small town and test the water without having to bust the bank. Frozen Empire is a direct sequel to that film (and by extension the first two) but feels like little more than a corporate exercise in mud flinging to see what sticks. We start off with a ghost chase through New York, where Callie Spengler (Carrie Coon), her kids Trevor (Finn Wolfhard) and Phoebe (Mckenna Grace) and Gary Grooberson (Pa...

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