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2024 First Half Review




Half way through the year check up time. As ever, this isn't a definitive list of the best films of the year as only things I've seen in the cinema are eligible. Take the numbers with a pinch of salt, I have almost certainly changed my mind by the time you read this.


31. The Strangers: Chapter 1

2008's The Strangers was a generic home invasion slasher film that had some novelty value and has some how managed to gather something of a cult following. This reboot has none of the novelty and twice the banality. If you find people walking slowly, talking softly and wearing stupid masks scary then prepare to be terrified. If not, prepare to fall asleep as the only frightening thing here is the threat of parts 2 and 3 to come.




30. Something in the Water

People stranded in the water at the mercy of sharks has been done a hundred times but seldom has it been as lame as this. It's impossible to tell if the excruciating bridal party stranded at sea are a tedious attempt to poke fun at young millennial/ older gen z women or if someone actually thought this lame "banter" and recycled dialogue would have the audience rooting for their survival. Either way it's a slog to watch and packs the bite of a toothless koala.



29. Nightswim

Horror flick about, no joke, a haunted swimming pool. Sadly the movie has no fun with its ridiculous premise, instead trying to play things straight and be one of those horror as a metaphor for family strife movies. That's all good and well but the film makers completely forgot the scares and not even King of the Nepo Babies Wyatt Russel and Banshees of Inisherin alum Kerry Condon can breathe much life into the cookie cutter characters of all American baseball guy and devoted wife.



28. Madam Webb

Most studios have been licking their wounds after  2023 proved to be a fairly disastrous year for superhero movies but Sony decided to rip the band aid off and quietly cough up this mess. Anyone who has seen Fifty Shades of Grey will attest to Dakota Johnson's ability to get over horrendous dialogue but not even she can sell this nonsense. The only thing as wonky as the script is the CGI and more effort goes into making sure the viewer knows Madam Webb is Spiderman adjacent than making them give a toss about any of the characters. 




27. Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

Marks a line in the sand where Ghostbusters sequels go from being ho-hum to outright bad. Starts out  attempting to marry 2021's Afterlife with the 80's original by having the new Spengler family setting up shop in the classic fire station but any hope of this working is soon buried under a non stop deluge of new characters, old faces and side plots in a failed attempt to set up an extended universe ripe for spin offs. Also has the stupidest looking antagonist in a series not exactly renowned for great villains. 




26. Tarot

A group of friends start to be picked off one by one after having their fortunes read with a cursed deck of tarot cards. Constantly dull lighting and suspiciously empty streets give the film an air of cheapness and the characters are thinner than the cards they read from. On the plus side it respects your time, getting straight to the point and not outstaying its welcome. With a bit more imagination in the kills and at least a passing effort in the character back and forth it would have been worth a recommendation. 



25. Sting

An alien spider taking up residence in an apartment building during a blizzard sounds like a lark right? Wrong. There is some humour in the form of an irate pest controller but it's a slow burn, focusing on family drama rather than arachnid antics for most of the runtime. Not automatically a problem but there's only so much watching a stressed out stepdad get treated like garbage you want in a movie like this. (Hint: not this much.) Needed to be either more fun or scarier, not that you won't poop your pants if you're arachnophobic. 



24. The Watchers

Debut effort from M. Night Shyamalan's daughter Ishana shows promise but suffers from some teething problems. The set-up is intriguing, with a group of strangers stranded in an isolated house where mysterious beings come to watch them every night but it ends up over explaining itself and goes on too long when a more experienced film maker might of had the confidence to wrap it up. 




23. Mothers' Instinct

Sub (sub, sub) Hitchcockian drama about a grieving mother taking a potentially sinister interest in her neighbour's kid. The period setting looks fantastic and in Anne Hathaway and Jessica Chastain it has two outstanding leads but the weak sauce screenplay takes the most obvious turn at every juncture and rather than steadily build tension it meanders along before quickly escalating to a rushed ending. The craft and talent on display deserves better.




22. Baghead

Seems every other horror film these premise days started life as a short and this basic but serviceable story about a monster in the basement that can let people talk to the dead is another of those. Attempts to leverage the premise to say something about family and moving on from loss lack any sort of substance but the witch that gives the movie its title is fairly creepy and the presence of Peter Mullin gives proceedings a bit of gravitas. 




21. Abigail

A vampiric little girl turns the tables on her ransomers in this fairly mediocre horror comedy. Has fun moments but is never quite as entertaining as the premise suggests it would be, partly down to the fact the trailers gave away the reveal and partly down to movies insistence that the audience should sympathise with the child kidnapping main character.  It does feature some entertaining performances, especially from child star Alisha Weir as the diminutive bloodsucker. 



20. The First Omen

Plenty of atmosphere and is made with real reverence for the original Omen (as well as other horror classics from that time) but can never quite escape the fact that it's a prequel and therefore inherently pointless. Plot of "women has baby" can only be stretched so far and trying to add mystery into a story we already know is a waste of time. Still, has a fantastic lead performance and some really stylish and creepy imagery. 




19. Argyle

Fun enough action romp with Bryce Dallas and Sam Rockwell providing chemistry and charisma as a future predicting thriller writer and spy trying to keep her safe from the shadowy organisation after the manuscript for her latest novel. Stupid and over the top enough to be entertaining even if it is a bit too CGI heavy and every twist is visible a mile off. Be prepared for disappointment if you're a huge Henry Cavil fan though as him and his square hair barely feature. 



18. The Beekeeper

Jason Statham does what he does best, gruffly mow his way through scores of baddies using cars, guns, knives and fists. There's also slimy tech guys, corrupt politicians, a couple of detectives to follow in Stath's wake marvelling at how bad ass he is and some absolutely insane dialogue delivered as if it was everyday chit chat. Brings precisely what you want from this kind of film and not a drop more. Don't worry about Jason's attempt at an (American?) accent, he gives up on it pretty quick.


17. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

Doesn't get near the heights of the previous trilogy but the effects remain a marvel and it's alway nice to see a large scale blockbuster that focuses on character. On the downside the main characters aren't massively compelling, with new lead Noa believing everything or nothing he is told depending on what is convenient for the story at any given point. Villain Proximus is the most entertaining of the apes and he has nowhere near enough screen time.



16. Bad Boys: Ride or Die

Nearly 30 years on and the Bad Boys can still get the job done. The jokes land more than they don't (although the ones that miss are stomach churninglyey cringey) and Lawrence and Smith's chemistry is as strong as ever, with Martin Lawrence in particular getting to remind everyone why he was such a big star. Feels like every action scene is shot in a different way keeping the set pieces fresh throughout, although motion sickness inducing first person action scenes in movies can piss right off. 



15. Boy Kills World

There may be umpteen "boy watches family die, grows up and seeks revenge" movies but there is only one "mute boy watches family die, grows up being trained by a forest shaman and seeks revenge in a brightly coloured dystopia while the ghost of his sister accompanies him and everything is narrated by the announcer from his favourite childhood video game movie".  It's this one. Predictable twists but inventive and gnarly fighting.




14. Godzilla X Kong : The New Empire

The most insane of the American Godzilla movies to date as multi-storey Kaiju punch, kick, bite, suplex and fire beams at each other. Sometimes in zero gravity. Kong is the main character here, a smart choice since he can emote like a human but that means the actual human characters are purely comic relief and spending so much time in the hollow earth means the sense of scale is lost a little bit. Nevertheless, a hugely entertaining spectacle if you like huge monsters.



13. Wicked Little Letters

Small story of abusive letters being sent in a 1920s seaside town is based loosely on a true story and the, pretty hilarious, letters used are the same as the ones that were actually sent. Well acted with the likes Jessie Buckley, Olivia Coleman and Timothy Spall on hand and genuinely funny. Might be considered a little twee to be dealing some of the themes on display but the stakes for the women accused are real and you'll be rooting for justice to prevail.



12. The Bikeriders

Based on a series of interviews and photographs this story of the formative years of a motorcycle gang is more a portrait of a time and place rather than a focused narrative story. Carried by a trio of great performances as Jodie Comer and Tom Hardy vie for the devotion of charismatic nihilist Austin Butler. There's a lot more sitting round in a bar talking than there is action but that doesn't stop it from being engrossing.




11. The Fall Guy

Part rom com, part action caper, part love letter to the stunt community. Ryan Gosling oozes charm even as his idiotic hitman is perpetually in over his head and his scenes with Emily Blunt (who really should have more screen time) are funny and packed with chemistry. Worth staying right to the end as fantastic behind the scenes footage shows how the stunts were achieved.  



10. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

In the nine years since its release, previous Mad Max film Fury Road has achieved almost mythical status. To follow up, George Miller ditches Max and makes a prequel that is almost the antithesis of its predecessor. Where that film was all character and no plot Furiosa is epic story stretched over 15 years. As pretentious as it is spectacular and as ambitious as it is unwieldy, it isn't to everyone's taste but it is one hell of a unique spectacle.   



9. Monkey Man

Realising that (despite his real life martial arts credentials) he would never be cast as the lead in an action film, Dev Patel decided to write and direct one for himself. What lifts this Indian set revenge thriller apart from the regular glut of John Wick wannabes is the genuine anger on display. Patel takes shots from behind the camera at the right wing authoritarians in charge of India as his on screen hero dishes out visceral beatings to corrupt policemen, politicians and phoney holy men. 


8. Immaculate

The other pregnant nun in a creepy convent story this is a more satisfying watch than The First Omen as it ditches subtlety and reverence for volume and a focus on delivering the gnarly goods. Solid enough scares and character work keep things ticking along until a barn burner of an ending lifts the film to a whole other level. A great showcase for lead actress (and producer) Sydney Sweeney. 



7. Civil War

A grounded and at times terrifyingly tense look at a modern American civil war that takes the form of a mid apocalyptic road rip. More a look at journalism than current politics (fascism is bad OK), grandstanding and huge battles are out in favour of representing the messiness and surreal nature of a civil war. The fate of each character is pretty predictable but that doesn't rob events of their impact. Hopefully director Alex Garland doesn't follow through on his intent to make this his last film.



6. The Iron Claw

Soul crushing but beautifully made story of the wrestling Von Erich family and the many, many tragedies that befell them as a father demands his sons bring him the glory that eluded him during his own career. Zac Efron makes the most of his physical gifts as childlike eyes stare out from his hulking physique and make the audience feel every bump, tear and heartbreak. If you think the story is too grim just remember the real story is even worse. There was a whole other brother.



5. Challengers

The trailers may have made this look like some sort of teen sex comedy but it is so much more, exploring a decade of messy relationships between three friends and lovers via the medium of a tennis grudge match. Jumping between three different narrative timelines takes a bit of getting used to but Challengers is simultaneously one of the all time great sports movies and not a sports movie at all, not requiring the viewer to have any knowledge of, or interest in, tennis at all. 



4. Dune Part 2

Delivers on the promise of part 1 in spectacular fashion. Denis Villeneuve dispenses with any extraneous world building and shortens up the event timeline in order to focus on the version of the story he wants to tell and the clarity pays off as outstanding visual design and cinema shaking sound combine to set a new standard in grand sci fi realism. Star performances at every turn and even manages to squeeze in a little humour. 



3. The Holdovers

A cantankerous professor and rebellious student remain behind at an elite boarding school over the Christmas holidays in 1970. Made in the style of the classic films of its period setting and (unlike nearly every other film that has tried) is good enough to stand amongst the very best of that era. Characters that could easily be one note are deeply textured and the writing packs plenty of feeling without ever straying near cheesy sentimentality. 



2. Love Lies Bleeding

The bleakness of a modern western meets the spirit of triumphant romance in this story of lesbian love in a world of bodybuilding and gun running. Steroids, blood, vomit and other fluids practically ooze from the screen and the chemistry between the leads is so sincere you'll feel guilty for watching. As darkly funny at times as it is wince inducingly violent at others it sprinkles some magical realism over the grit. It (along with 2019's Saint Maud) marks director Rose Glass as one of the most unique new voices in film.  


1. Poor Things

Hollywood's premier absurdist Yorgos Lanthimos returns with this visually audacious tale of a newborn adult exploring the world through relationships, travel and furious jumping. Packed with observations and  gut shakingly funny, it is impossible not to be mesmerised by the art style and enthralled by Emma Stone's central performance. A glorious explosion of imagination in a steam punk painting viewed through a fish eyed lens.   





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