They Did the Monster Mash

Godzilla X Kong : The New Empire may sound like erotic fan fiction written by a Kaiju obsessive but its actually the 5th instalment in a decade spanning (how time flies) franchise. 2014's Godzilla finally brought the legendary lizard to Hollywood in a way that wasn't a complete embarrassment but struggled to marry the disparate parts of family drama and giant monster smackdown. Skull Island was a fun mystery island adventure. King of the Monsters went for epic, end of the world monster stakes and Godzilla vs Kong leaned into the silliness of it all. This film takes the ridiculousness of its predecessor and runs with it. And runs and runs.

The plot, such as it is, involves a villainous giant ape named The Skar King imprisoned in the Hollow Earth attempting to conquer the surface world. Don't worry if that sounds like a bit of an underwhelming opponent for Big G, the nefarious simian has an ace up his sleeve. There are plenty of other big monsters for our titular duo to throw hands with and an undiscovered civilisation for the human characters to interact with. In terms of story its up there with the most batshit of the Toho movies but where those films just let the audience accept the wacky, Godzilla X Kong spends a little too long trying to justify itself.

More than any other of the Monsterverse entries the titular monsters really are the main characters of the film, or more specifically King Kong is. While the pair are both basically superheroes here, Godzilla is the powerful wildcard to Kong's leading man. Its the natural decision given the ease with which human characteristics can be applied to a big ape and director Adam Wingard leans hard on this angle. Whether he's wincing with tooth ache or swaggering through the jungle with his chest puffed out like a multi-storey chad, Kong is, for all intents and purposes, a giant, really strong human being. Likewise, Skar King smirks and laughs his way through his screen time and scenes with him, Kong and any other apes play out like wordless human interactions.

With the giants able to convey the movie's emotions it doesn't leave the human cast with much to do beside take on the role of comedy relief. The always likeable Brian Tyree Henry returns as monster podcaster Bernie and he is joined by Dan Stevens, proving once again he is one of Hollywoods most underrated stars as he brings the most laughs playing a zany adventurer/kaiju vet. There's also a fun turn from Alex Ferns, most known in the UK for his role as abusive Eastenders husband Trevor some twenty odd years ago. The "serious" acting is left to Rebecca Hall, returning as Kong expert Dr Ilene Andrews. This means that while everyone else is horsing around she's stuck delivering exposition and making sure we know she really cares about her adopted daughter. Hall is up to the task and sells it all gamely but there's no escaping the fact it feels like she is in a completely different film.

Realistically, any time a person is on screen they're just filling time until the next monster fight. The beast on beast violence comes thick and fast and while a couple of the encounters are disappointingly short or happen mainly off screen, the ones that deliver really deliver. The sense of scale the earlier movies had is diminished by the hallow earth setting and light on their feet monsters but in its place is some insanely innovative superhero fighting. The final 4-way showdown begins in hollow earth zero gravity before exploding onto the surface world as the massive combatants unleash fists, teeth, whips, axes, power gloves and deadly breath rays on each other in a crowd pleasing smackdown that pays homage to the classics while taking the spectacle to a whole other level.

Godzilla X Kong plays to the bleachers with more or less every scene designed to either make you laugh or marvel at the action and while it isn't high art, it is, in its own way very innovative. Keep them coming please.

8 rotten titan canines removed out of 10.

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