This Week at Home

Fist Fight is a 2017 comedy where Charlie Day's mild minored teacher finds himself scheduled to fight his bad ass colleague Ice Cube. I'm always here for a gruff Ice Cube performance but Day's character is an annoying whiner and you wish Cube would just hurry up and spark him out. There's also a cringeworthy side plot involving a female teacher essentially grooming a high school student that makes the film feel way more than seven years old.

Mission Impossible III is the third instalment in the franchise and is another completely different film. JJ Abrams bounces into the director chair meaning the film is zippy and technically precise but lacking the stylistic flourish of its predecessor. Where as the first two films offer a snapshot of their time, this feels much more modern and is less interesting for it. The entry I have enjoyed least so far but still a solid actioner with a show stealing turn from Philip Seymour Hoffman.

A group of American tourists make the classic mistake of visiting a secret archeological dig down in Mexico in 2008 horror The Ruins. It might be a generic set up but the reveal of what is going on at the hidden pyramid is pretty original and the goofiness of it is in stark contrast to some of the gnarly injuries that crop up. Feels like a feature length Creepshow segment and while it might have been suited to that shorter length better its unique enough to warrant checking out.

Back to agent Ethan Hunt next with Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol. Its taken until film four but this is the first of the series to acknowledge itself as a sequel to the previous entry and although Christopher McQuarrie isn't on board yet (Brad Bird directs) things are starting to feel more like the recent films. Some great set pieces and more consistent tone put this above part 3 even if the villain is pretty weak. Also lacking in Ving Rhames screen time.

Last movie this week in 2017 Mexican horror Belzebuth. A local policeman teams up with an American agency that specialise in the occult to investigate demonic possessions that are leading to the mass murder of children. Pretty atmospheric and blends scares and investigation sequences to good effect although it might go for one twist too many. Not massively gory but the subject matter means viewer discretion is advised.

Film of the week : Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol. They are both enjoyable but neither of the horror quite has enough to get past the action daddy.

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You Must Walk 500 Miles

As far as descriptive titles go, The Long Walk nails it. In an undefined near future, a bunch of teenage boys compete to see who can walk the farthest, with riches and a wish of their choice the reward for the last one standing. The catch? There is only one winner and if you stop, or drop below the allotted 3-mile-an-hour pace, you get shot. As if that wasn't bad enough, they have to march under the watchful eye of Mark Hamill's "Major", a military hard ass who, in the time-honoured tradition of old men sending young men to their deaths, constantly barks platitudes about how brave and noble the competitors are while clearly not giving a toss about them. Given the nature of the film, it's something of an ensemble piece, with a glut of young actors you'll recognise, but the main focus is on Ray (Cooper Hoffman) and Pete (David Jonsson). While a level of camaraderie emerges between many of the boys, it is the friendship between these two that forms the core of ...

Man About Town

Caught Stealing is not your typical Darren Aronofsky film. More playful and less mired misery, it feels like the director having a stab at a Guy Ritchie-esque caper around late 90's Manhattan. For the most part, it works. Austin Butler is Henry "Hank" Thompson, a New York bartender and former baseball prodigy. When he and girlfriend Yvonne (Zoe Kravitz) are asked to keep an eye on Hank's neighbours cat, they end up in the crosshairs of Russian gangsters, Yiddish hitmen and "concerned" cops. This may be more playful in tone than his usual fare, but this is still an Aronofsky film, so Hank is a man with an obsession, in this case baseball. His devotion to his beloved San Francisco Giants dictates his mood and is the foundation of his relationship with his equally obsessed mother, whom he calls every day to discuss their prospects with. Unfortunately, his enthusiasm is intrinsically linked to his own cut-short ball career and the ghost of what could have been...

Weightwatchers Extreme

The Cut is a boxing movie with (apart from a brief opening sequence) no boxing in it. Instead it focuses on the equally brutal, but less visibly part of the sport, weight loss, as a former contender spirals into madness while trying to shed an insane amount of heft in order to secure a last minute return to the big time. Orlando Bloom is a boxer (he is never named during the film) who lost his one title shot and now runs a gym with his partner and trainer Caitlin (Catriona Balfe). He retains a reputation for being an exciting knockout specialist so when a title contender dies weeks before an upcoming Las Vegas showdown, scary promoter Donny (Gary Beadle) offers him the chance of a glamorous comeback. The catch? He needs to shed thirty two pounds (over two stone or fourteen kilos) in a week. Caitlin agrees to him giving it a go provided they do things by the book, but when traditional methods fail, John Turturro's Boz enters the equation and pushes Bloom way beyond the bounds of w...

Honey Doesn't

Honey Don't is the second film from the director/writer team-up of Ethan (one half of the brothers) Coen and his wife Tricia Cook. Like their previous effort, "Drive Away Dolls", it is wonderfully queer but lacks any of the sharpness and precise pacing that typifies a classic Coen brothers movie. Margaret Qualley is Honey O'Donahue (a name you will hear spoken a LOT over the course of the film), a private investigator in Bakersfield. She is essentially a classic noir gumshoe detective transported to sun-bleached, modern-day California. After a would-be-client dies, Honey begins an investigation that has her cross paths with Chris Evans's skeezy preacher and the mysterious French woman who represents his business partners. She is also attempting to provide support to her sister, who has a small army of children, including an eldest daughter who she is constantly at loggerheads with. All while working her way through the lesbian population of town, including embarki...

The Family That Fights Ghosts Together..

The Conjuring: Last Rites is the fourth instalment in the blockbuster horror franchise and picks up five years after the previous entry, with Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) now retired from the paranormal investigation game. When a spooky mirror from their past remerges, they, along with now adult daughter Judy (Mia Tomlinson), find they may have no choice but to get their ghost busting on one last time. So, the main problem with The Conjuring movies, has always been the "based on a true story" aspect of their presentation. Sure, Ed and Lorraine were indeed really people and they did in fact investigate claims of paranormal activity. Unlike their film counterparts however, they are well known to have been a couple of frauds. To begin with, this wasn't much of an issue, as horror films loosely (read: not really at all) based on true stories are common, but as the franchise progresses, and the Warrens are painted as more and more heroic, it becom...

Love is a Battlefield

The Roses is technically a remake of 1989 black comedy, "The War of the Roses", but sticks far less closely to the source novel than its predecessor, with director Jay Roach and writer Tony McNamara bringing a drier, more understated tone to the humour. Add in pitch-perfect performances from Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman in the central roles and you have a fantastically fun hundred-odd minutes. After briefly seeing disillusioned architect Theo (Cumberbatch) and ambitious chef Ivy (Colman) first meet, the film skips us forward a decade to the now-married pair having abandoned their native UK to live their dream life in America. Theo is on the verge of revealing his architectural masterpiece while Ivy is cooking outrageously elaborate cakes in her role as stay-at-home mum to their two children. A freak storm ends up flipping their lives around and Ivy's chef career hits the big time while Theo holds down the fort at home and resentments slowly accumulate over th...

Toxic Shock

The Toxic Avenger ambles his way into theatres some two years after the film was first shown at festivals. Strange that the movie had so much trouble finding a distributor given the presence of major names, relatively mainstream sensibilities (compared to the 80s original anyway) and the fact it's actually quite a bit of fun. Events take place in a fictional city inside a cartoonish, ultra-capitalist, crime-ridden caricature of 80s America, with locations called things like "Depressing Outskirts" and "Ye Olde Shithead District". Peter Dinklage is down on his luck janitor Winston Gooze, a widower with a step son who attempts to break into the headquarters of the mega-pharmaceutical company he works for when he discovers his gold level insurance doesn't cover treatment for his brain condition. Things go south and he is transformed into The Toxic Avenger, a mutated super human who sets about righting some wrongs in his crime ridden city. The film attempts t...

The Devil is in the Pigtails

Whatever your opinion of David Gordon Green's Halloween trilogy its hard to deny he took a big swing at it and The Exorcist: Believer has a lot in common with the director's 2018 revitalisation of that franchise. Like Halloween 2018 this film ignores every previous sequel and is a direct follow up to the original Exorcist. Like Halloween 2018 this film sticks pretty closely to beats of the original but with heightened stakes (more kills for Halloween, twice the number of possessed kids here). Unlike Halloween 2018 this film isn't a complete success. Not that The Exorcist: Believer is a write off by any means. Having two friends be possessed is a nice way of distinguishing proceedings from the sea of other possession films we have seen over the last few years and adds an extra layer to dealing with the situation, not only does the worried father need to deal with what is happening to his daughter but also with another family and their beliefs on what should be done. The pos...

We are Living in a Material World

Materialists is, on the surface, a romantic drama-comedy about a New York matchmaker who faces a choice in her own love life. It has something more on its mind though, presenting a forensic examination of modern adult relationships and the incompatibility of expectation and genuine feeling. Dakota Johnson is Lucy, a specialist in matching together "elite" couples. For elite, read some of the worst people on Earth. Men who demand their partners have knockout bodies, adhere to strict weight limits and the younger the better. Women who will only consider the tall, rich and in one case, white. In Lucy's world marriage is a business deal and the ultimate match is the one who checks the most boxes. As a "voluntary celibate", she carries this philosophy into here every day life and has no interest in dating until she can find the rich man who will make husband material. The love cynic is a classic trope for the lead in a movie with this set up but there is much more...

Money and Masks

The challenge for Dumb Money is how to make a story about stocks interesting, especially when anyone interested either already knows what happened or can easily look up the events. The answer given here is to focus on some great characters played by grade A actors. The story is a simple one, albeit one seasoned with odd bit of financial jargon. Way back in pandemic times (2021) a low rung financial investor called Keith Gill led a Reddit driven movement to buy up stock in video game retail chain Gamestop, massively driving up its share price and giving investors a huge return. This sparks a backlash from the big finance institutions betting on the companies demise. Paul Dano plays Gill with Seth Rogan, Vincent D'Onofrio and Nick Offerman appearing as real life Wall Street investors alongside some made up "average Joe" characters portrayed by America Ferrera, Anthony Ramos and others. When every character is introduced we see their net worth, from the multiple billions ...

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