Tiny Flash Gordon

The problem with Marvel trying to widen the scope after the universe effecting events of Thanos and his technicolour dream glove is that the more you explore "different" realms the more obvious it becomes that everything is basically the same. The multiverse of "madness" turned out to be the universe of "quite similar but the traffic lights are upside down" and here the unknowable quantum realm, where physics and time don't exist in any way we understand, is just another alien world.

To be fair, the alien world is a pretty cool one. There are funky creatures and weird characters, giving things a 50's B movie or Flash Gordon vibe, complete with appropriate wacky visuals. Sadly all this stuff is rushed, not really giving the chance to take in the view or enjoy fun moments, including a cameo everyone would surely love to have seen more of. You get the feeling an earlier phase of the MCU would have leaned into the "Lost in Space" of it all a bit more but here we have to move quickly on to the Super High Stakes. These involve Jonathon Major's Kang, played in a reserved style that makes him menacing but a little out of sync with the rest of the movie. Given he is from another dimension that may be the point. Kang's sidekick MODOK is a fun take on a ridiculous villian but the departure may divide comic book fans.

On the hero front its good to see Michelle Pfeiffer given a substantial role and it looks as if a grown up Cassie Lang is intented to be a fixture going forward but Evangeline Lilly has such a reduced role it seems pointless keeping "The Wasp" as part of the title. Micheal Douglas is enjoyable when on screen but kept mostly to the periphery of proceedings and while he is having fun you can tell he isn't exactly massively invested in whats going on. Leading man Paul Rudd is, well, Paul Rudd. He brings the charm and liability to Scott Lang you've come to expect. He manages this despite being stuck with a pretty stupid character arc where he begins the film suddenly averse to helping people for no well defined reason.

This is symptomatic of some fairly lazy writting in parts, with some of the most by the numbers dialogue yet seen in a Marvel movie. Fortunately there is enough visual and stylistic creativity on display to make the film more than watchable, if certainly no Giant Man of the genre.

7 hyper intelligent insects out of 10 ants.

Comments

Trouble in Paradise

Thanks to Evil Dead and Spider-Man, Sam Raimi will forever be associated with horror and superhero movies, but he has actually dipped his toe in many genres, from Westerns to sports movies. Send Help appears to be his twisted take on a rom-com. A good looking guy and an also good looking but awkward woman are stuck getting to know each other in a tropical paradise in a classic romance setup. In a slight break from tradition, proceedings are garnished with buckets of blood and puke and served with a side of black slapstick and maiming. Said couple is Rachel McAdams as super competent, but socially inept business strategist Linda, and Dylan O'Brien as Bradley, Linda's douchebag boss who passes her over for promotion as soon as he inherits daddy's company. When the private jet they are travelling in goes down they find themselves the only survivors as they await rescue from a remote island. Similarly to 2022's Triangle of Sadness, the power dynamics are completely shifted ...

Gimme Shelter

The start of another year means it's time for the annual "Jason Statham is a retired killing machine trying to live a quiet life but being forced to start stacking obituaries" movie. The typically nondescript title of this year's offering is Shelter and Stath's former special forces badass is called Michael Mason. When the British government agency that he used to drop bodies for comes calling at his remote Scottish lighthouse he is forced to take action, something that is complicated by the presence of a young orphan girl named Jessie (Bodhi Rae Breathnach). While our protagonist and his reluctant charge tear across the countryside, Naomi Ackie (criminally underused here) and Bill Nighy (putting in just enough effort to get by) scheme against each other at Spy HQ. Jason Statham movies can essentially be judged on three criteria; Does he get to do cool action? Are the bad guys formidable enough? Is the plot and dialogue entertainingly cheesy rather than just e...

Stand-Up and Deliver

Is This Thing On ? is inspired by the story of English comedian John Bishop, who attended a comedy open mic night while going through a divorce and went on to become a successful comedian and regular fixture on British television. The focus here, however, is not on an emerging comedy career but on the way finding a creative outlet gives the central character an injection of life and a new perspective on, and possibly a chance to save, his broken marriage. The premise is well executed but there isn't enough insight to prop up the threadbare story. Based on a UK comedian they may be, but events here are transported to New York. The film opens with Alex Novak (Will Arnett) looking lost at his kid's assembly before we witness him and wife Tess (Laura Dern) calmly decide to call time on their marriage. Feeling lonely (and broke) Alex signs up for an open mic spot in order to avoid paying the entrance and ends up diving headlong into the world of stand-up comedy, which ends up servin...

Lungbuster

With Iron Lung, YouTuber Markiplier, real name Mark Fischbach, becomes the latest content creator to dip his toe into the world of feature film production. His effort is not as accomplished as the work of the Philippou Brothers (creators of Talk to Me and Bring Her Back) but it's a lot more striking and original than last year's Shelby Oaks (directed by YouTube film critic Chris Stuckmann). The film is based on a relatively niche video game of the same name, which was made by solo developer David Szymanski (who helped with the film's screenplay) and is set inside a submarine exploring an ocean of blood. We follow exactly the same premise here as our protagonist, a convict named Simon, spends the entire runtime welded into a decrepit submersible on a distant moon trying to earn his freedom. What his superiors are specifically looking for is unclear but he is told the blood ocean holds resources vital to the survival of mankind, who has been pushed to the brink of extinctio...

Blow My Whistle

Whistle is Corin Hardy's third movie, after his 2015 breakout The Hallow and 2018's Conjuring spin-off The Nun. This new horror flick sits halfway between the indie energy of his maiden effort and the box ticking boredom of his big studio follow-up, with self seriousness butting up against dumb fun. The set-up is most reminiscent of Final Destination, with added high school slasher vibes. Chrys (Dafne Keen) moves in with her cousin Rel's (Sky Yang) family following the death of her father. Within about ten minutes of attending her high school she becomes besotted with Sophie Nellisse's Ellie, ends up in detention after a confrontation with loudmouth basketball player Dean (Jhaleil Swaby) and finds an Aztec death whistle in her new locker. Naturally, the teens end up blowing the death whistle which causes them all to be stalked by their future deaths. This manifests as a ghostly apparition of your dead future self who causes you to suffer said death as soon as they to...

Please Close This Book

The Strangers-Chapter 3 brings an end to one of the most puzzlingly pointless trilogies of all time. Shot back to back (although this instalment underwent some sizeable reshoots after the tepid reception to Chapter 1), the three entries encompass scarcely enough content to cover a single film and are devoid of scares or ideas. In fairness, this instalment seems like it almost has the genesis of something to say. Almost. If you were lucky enough to miss the previous instalments it won't take long to get you caught up. In Chapter 1, Maya (Madelaine Petsch) ran around in the woods a bit with her boyfriend before he was killed by some mask wearing locals of the backwater town they were visiting. In Chapter 2, she ran around in the woods on her own a bit before managing to kill one her face hiding pursuers. Here, we pick up straight after Chapter 2 and, after a brief interlude in a church, Maya is capture by lead "Stranger" Gregory. Meanwhile, Maya's sister Debbie and ...

It Sure Does

Love Hurts is Ke Huy Quan's first ever lead role. After decades out the game and struggling to keep his insurance prior to his Oscar winning turn in "Everything Everywhere, All At Once", you can hardly blame him for taking the chance to front a movie. Unfortunately, in Jonathan Eusabio's directorial debut, he has landed in a misfire. Quan plays Marvin Gable, a cheery real estate agent living his best life as he crushes the sales game and keeps everyone in the office (except for his depressed assistant) happy with his home baking. Unbeknownst to his colleagues he used to be a gangland hitman for his mob boss brother "Knuckles" and when the mysterious Rose, who Marvin was supposed to have killed, remerges, big brother dispatches the goons to get some answers from him. Cue high jinks as Marvin battles henchmen kung fu style while trying to keep his current and past lives from colliding. It's a fun idea but nothing quite comes together in the execution. Th...

This Week at Home

Fist Fight is a 2017 comedy where Charlie Day's mild minored teacher finds himself scheduled to fight his bad ass colleague Ice Cube. I'm always here for a gruff Ice Cube performance but Day's character is an annoying whiner and you wish Cube would just hurry up and spark him out. There's also a cringeworthy side plot involving a female teacher essentially grooming a high school student that makes the film feel way more than seven years old. Mission Impossible III is the third instalment in the franchise and is another completely different film. JJ Abrams bounces into the director chair meaning the film is zippy and technically precise but lacking the stylistic flourish of its predecessor. Where as the first two films offer a snapshot of their time, this feels much more modern and is less interesting for it. The entry I have enjoyed least so far but still a solid actioner with a show stealing turn from Philip Seymour Hoffman. A group of American tourists make the cl...

There Can Only be One

Trailers for Him had Jordan Peele's name slapped all over them, which is understandable from a marketing point of view. In reality it is simply produced by the"Get Out" directors company, Monkeypaw Productions. It is actually directed by Justin Tipping, from a script he co-wrote with Skip Bronkie and Zak Akers. The prevalence of Peele's name in the advertising means the film is bound to draw unflattering comparisons with his own work, which is a shame as the film has its own merits. Cameron "Cam" Cade (Tyriq Withers) grew up idolising Isaiah White (Marlon Wayans), star quarterback of the San Antonio Saviours. When White suffers a grisly injury during the Super Bowl, Cade's father tells the young fan that real men like his idol make sacrifices for greatness. Fast forward about a decade and a half and Cam is about to be drafted to the NFL, where he is tipped as a potential challenger to White's "Greatest Of All Time" status. When a mascot in ...

A Family Account

Considering its lead character is (among many other things) a mathematical genius, it sure took the film makers a long time to crunch the numbers on a sequel to 2016's "The Accountant". Still, better late than never and The Accountant 2 is a blast, even if it is a very different film than its predecessor. Ben Affleck returns as Christian Wolf, an autistic accountant \ one man army who is about the only person more dangerous than the people he cooks the books for. When Raymond King (J.K Simmons) is killed, his successor as Deputy Director of the Treasury Department, Marybeth Medina (Cynthia Addai-Robinson), calls in Wolf to help her crack the case her former boss was working on. It isn't long before Jon Bernthal's Braxton (Christian's estranged brother) joins the party and the trio embark on an absolutely non sensical investigation involving human traffickers and acquired savant syndrome. The first movie padded out it central story with a side plot of Simmo...

Dan Says its Alright

Search This Blog