Racing to the Shops

It's tough times at the box office these days but if there's one film this year that doesn't need to worry about ticket sales surely it's Gran Turismo. In addition to being a feature long advert for the game it's named after there is so much product placement packed into the production that it must have been in the black before a single person saw the finished movie. Even after paying Orlando Bloom for the world's most expensive Ross Kemp impression. Bizarrely, due to the racing setting and overall kitsch factor, the excessive marketing doesn't derail the film.

The basis of Gran Turismo is that back in 2008 Sony and Nissan got together to offer players of the Gran Turismo videogame the opportunity to train as real life racing drivers. This is based, albeit with a massive slice of creative licence, on one of the successful contestants.

What follows is the most by the numbers sport story you could imagine. Plucky kid with big dreams tested in all the ways you expect. A stern father who wants what's best for his son but doesn't understand his dreams. Gruff mentor with a past who is won over by the lead characters determination. Snide rivals who underestimate the hero. Generic love interest who has no real part in the plot. It's all here interspersed with Sony Walkmans, copious billboards and of course plenty of talk about how realistic the game is. "I've played it, it's.... Extraordinary" whispers Bloom in awe when selling the racer idea. More or less the entire first 15 minutes or so are variations on this sentence.

Despite it's limitations though Gran Turismo is pretty fun. The cast are solid with Archie Madekwe making protagonist Jann likable enough to root for and David Harbour unsurprisingly nailing the grouchy coach role. There is one strange casting choice with former Spice Girl (and perhaps more pertinently wife of F1 team boss Christian Horner) Geri Halliwell appearing as Jann's mum. She is fine but there's no getting around the fact its distracting having Ginger Spice at the dinner table.

The real star of the show is the racing. These scenes look and sound great, giving a real sense of thrill and danger even if the outcome is always pretty predictable. This may be a far cry from his District 9 glory days but director Neil Blomkamp clearly still knows what he's doing behind the camera.

You're not going to spend much time thinking about Gran Turismo once the chequered flag is waved but if you don't mind a large helping of cheese then there's worse ways to spend your time than checking it out.

6 pre orders out of 10 videogames.

Comments

Predator Chadlands

After revitalising the Predator franchise with 2022's Prey, director Dan Trachtenberg brings us a very different take on the extraterrestrial big game hunter. In Predator: Badlands , the titular monster is the main character. Considering how terrible that premise could have been, we actually end up with a decent action adventure movie. Our protagonist is Dek, a Yautja (the species name of the Predators) who is considered something of a runt. Such a runt in fact, that his dad wants to kill him for being a pitiful disgrace to the clan. After his brother saves him, he makes his way to "the Death Planet" Genna to hunt a supposedly unkillable monster in order to show his father who is boss and force the rest of the clan to put some respect on his name. When he gets there he discovers that, not only is all the wildlife deadly, but Weyland-Yutani ( yes, the evil corporation from Alien) have sent a bunch of synths there to collect and weaponise his prospective trophy. He forms an...

Now You Three Me

Now You See Me: Now You Don't is the somewhat surprising third instalment in the Now You See Me franchise. Surprising in that it has been nine years since the last film and it had looked like the magicians had played their last trick. The film itself is about as unsurprising as it gets, playing out exactly as you expect a pseudo-legacy sequel to play out, hitting many of the familiar beats while introducing a new group of characters to carry the torch when the original cast bow out. The Now You See Me films revolve around stage magicians The Four Horsemen using their unique skills to pull off altruistic thefts that stick it to bad corporations and individuals and redistribute the wealth either to the people said evil entity has wronged, or simply to the fans in attendance. Said Four Horsemen are; illusionist J. Atlas (Jesse Eisenberg), mentalist Merritt McKinney (Woody Harrelson), sleight of hand specialist Jack Wilder (Dave Franco) and either Henley Reeves (Isla Fisher) or Lula M...

Guns and Cardio

The Running Man is a remake of the 1987's Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle. Except it isn't really. It's actually a different, far more faithful, interpretation of the Stephen King story. That said, it's exactly what you would expect from a modern adaptation of an '80s cult classic; slicker, with more emphasis on the message, but much less personality and therefore destined to be forgotten far quicker. Written under the pseudonym Richard Bachman, King's 1982 novel is set in a dystopian 2025 where "The Network" is not just in charge of TV, but essentially run the United States and have turned the country into an authoritarian surveillance state where a small percentage of people are uber-wealthy, and everyone else struggles to afford even basic medicine. The film does away with the year, since the idea of people living like that in 2025 is so ridiculous. Enter Glenn Powell as family man Ben Richards. He may live in a hellscape but old Ben doesn't do ...

I Hate You So Much Right Now

Die My Love opens with a fixed camera observing a couple exploring their new house. This voyeuristic introduction sets up the isolated home as a character in its own right and gives the impression you are about to watch a horror film. In a way, you are. The couple are new mum Grace, played by Jennifer Lawrence, and her partner Jackson (Robert Pattinson), who inherited the house from his late uncle. Although they are playful with each other while checking out their new home, once they move in it becomes clear they have some major problems. Grace stalks through the grass on all fours, hiding from Jackson and a star gazing session foreshadows a fundamental difference in the way they feel about life and their situation. The cosmos makes her feel insignificant while he is thrilled at the thought of being part of something larger. As time goes on, Grace feels more and more isolated, while Jackson is either physically or emotionally absent, and her behaviour becomes increasingly erratic...

Econ Air

Single location thriller Flight Risk is the latest film to suffer from an "over eager" trailer. That is to say, the trailer covers pretty much everything that happens in the movie, more or less in the exact order it occurs. On the plus side, it isn't a film that was ever going to keep any secrets so it doesn't suffer as much as some others have. FBI agent Madelyn Harris (Michelle Dockery) takes a flight with informant Winston (Topher Grace) but a short way into their journey they discover the pilot, played by Mark Wahlberg, is actually a mob hitman there to end them both before Winston can squeal. There is a brief opening at an Alaskan cabin and the finale is on a runway, but for the most part it's just the three of them in the cabin of a small plane. Events unfold almost like a theatrical play as the three talk and argue with intermittent attempts at murder. The main thing to know about Flight Risk is that it is ridiculous. The decisions the characters make a...

The Truth is Down There

Bugonia is the fourth (fifth if you count 2022 short film Bleat) collaboration between director Yorgos Lanthimos and star Emma Stone. It's unlikely to trouble the Oscars in the way The Favourite or Poor Things did, but we still have an entertainingly unhinged fable on our hands. Stone plays Michelle Fuller, CEO of pharmaceutical company Auxolith. Shortly after the title card, we see her continually fluff a video she is recording on corporate inclusivity, bristling at the continued use of the word "diversity". She then instructs her assistant to draft an e-mail telling employees they are no longer required to remain in the office beyond 5.30. Unless they have work to do. Unbelievably, this pesticide-spreading, corporate lip-service-paying, business shark will soon cut a sympathetic figure. That's because she is about to be abducted and held captive by conspiracy nut Teddy Katz (Jessie Plemons) and his intellectually disabled cousin Don (Aidan Delbis). We have alread...

It Sure Does

Love Hurts is Ke Huy Quan's first ever lead role. After decades out the game and struggling to keep his insurance prior to his Oscar winning turn in "Everything Everywhere, All At Once", you can hardly blame him for taking the chance to front a movie. Unfortunately, in Jonathan Eusabio's directorial debut, he has landed in a misfire. Quan plays Marvin Gable, a cheery real estate agent living his best life as he crushes the sales game and keeps everyone in the office (except for his depressed assistant) happy with his home baking. Unbeknownst to his colleagues he used to be a gangland hitman for his mob boss brother "Knuckles" and when the mysterious Rose, who Marvin was supposed to have killed, remerges, big brother dispatches the goons to get some answers from him. Cue high jinks as Marvin battles henchmen kung fu style while trying to keep his current and past lives from colliding. It's a fun idea but nothing quite comes together in the execution. Th...

Really Kinky Boots

Pillion has been described by one of its stars, Alexander Skarsgård, as a dom-com. What he means by that is that this motorcycle romance ticks plenty of rom-com boxes while sporting a heavy coat of BDSM and graphic sex scenes. This description actually sells the film a little bit short. Harry Melling plays Colin, an openly gay but quiet and reserved young man who lives at home with his father and terminally ill mother, Peggy. After singing in a Christmas barbershop quartet, Harry is spotted by enigmatic and unfeasibly handsome biker Ray (Skarsgard), who identifies him as someone with subservient tendencies. After a Christmas Day hook-up in a high street alleyway, Ray gives Colin the cold shoulder for months before taking him back to his house. Upon arrival, Colin discovers where his place in the household is, somewhere lower than the dog and slightly above the mud off Ray's shoe. He is tasked with completing all the daily chores, as well as anything else his master deems needing d...

There Can Only be One

Trailers for Him had Jordan Peele's name slapped all over them, which is understandable from a marketing point of view. In reality it is simply produced by the"Get Out" directors company, Monkeypaw Productions. It is actually directed by Justin Tipping, from a script he co-wrote with Skip Bronkie and Zak Akers. The prevalence of Peele's name in the advertising means the film is bound to draw unflattering comparisons with his own work, which is a shame as the film has its own merits. Cameron "Cam" Cade (Tyriq Withers) grew up idolising Isaiah White (Marlon Wayans), star quarterback of the San Antonio Saviours. When White suffers a grisly injury during the Super Bowl, Cade's father tells the young fan that real men like his idol make sacrifices for greatness. Fast forward about a decade and a half and Cam is about to be drafted to the NFL, where he is tipped as a potential challenger to White's "Greatest Of All Time" status. When a mascot in ...

Raising the Roof?

Roofman is the media given name of real-life army veteran and serial McDonald's robber, Jeffrey Manchester, played here by Channing Tatum. Using his special talent for noticing patterns and routine, he burgled over 40 of the fast food chain's restaurants while gaining a reputation for being a polite thief. In an early scene we see him give a store manager his coat as he apologetically forces the staff into a freezer. Gentleman criminal or not, he stole a lot of corporate money, so when the police finally finger him for a single job he is sent down for forty-five years on trumped up kidnapping charges. In prison, his skills kick into gear again and he escapes on a delivery truck. Needing to lie low until his buddy can sort him out with a fake passport, he takes up residence in a Toys "R" Us for six months. Despite warnings he can't help but get involved in the lives of the people he watches on CCTV, particularly good-hearted single mum Leigh (Kirsten Dunst). To be...

Dan Says its Alright

Search This Blog