Skip to main content

He-Management

second Masters of the Universe movie (after the 1987 Dolph Lundgren vehicle) has been on the docket for a long time, with directors from John Woo to Jon M. Chu attached and rights bouncing around various studios. The success of Barbie (another Mattel property) is likely the reason this iteration of the project has finally made it to screens. While a look at what constitutes modern masculinity means it does share a little in common with its pink dappled cousin, it mostly just contents itself with being the most sincerely dumb summer blockbuster you can imagine. 

Nicholas Galitzine plays Adam, the Prince of Eternia, sent to Earth as a child to escape the skull-faced villain Skeletor (Jared Leto) who has conquered our hero's homeland. Fast forward fifteen years, and Adam is now a friendly Human Resources worker freaking out potential dates by telling them he is the long lost prince to a land of magic and wonder. Finally finding the "Sword of Power" he dropped on his way to Earth gives him the chance to go home and eventually become "He-Man", champion of Eternia and the only person strong enough to defeat Skeletor.

The film makes zero apologies for its silly set-up and is all the better for it. While the trailers evoked "Thor: Ragnarok", the actual film is much closer to something like "Flash Gordon". In addition to being big and blond, Adam is a fish out of water in his homeland and he is facing a villain with absolutely no hint of moral redemption. 

Skeletor being bad "just because" is a running joke and while the fact he can only be dealt with via a very hard punch in the face somewhat goes against the bringing people together theme of the movie, it is nice to have a villain who is just a villain rather than the wounded or misguided big bads of recent years. Leto is the subject of many an internet punchline for his inability to lead a movie but quirky supporting roles are where he shines and this is one of his best performances. That's despite (or some might argue because of) the fact you would never know it is him. The staff wielding menace sounds like the demon child of Tom Hardy's Bane and Stewie Griffin, with a dash of Captain Jack Sparrow theatricality. He isn't particularly menacing but provides good entertainment while you wait for him to get his comeuppance. 

One of the reasons old bone face isn't all that threatening is because, as any devotee of the '80s cartoon will tell you, its pretty much guaranteed game over for the ne'er-do-wells  as soon as He-Man enters the scene. Galitzine does a good job portraying the unstoppable force, he looks like he is chiseled from granite and dives into the action with meaty abandon. Its as the amiable goof Adam that he really excels though, giving him an earnest likability and wide-eyed wonder that gives the audience a way into the wacky world without everything descending into outright parody. The only problem is that his switch to He-man is lessened by the fact he is so visibly jacked as Adam. The transformation is supposed to be from scrawny pushover to unstoppable man mountain but no amount of baggy pink shirts can disguise how yoked the lost prince is. In fact, he actually looks bigger as Adam than he does as He-Man. 

Helping and hindering the hero's quest are pretty much all the wacky characters from the classic show, complete with their toy gimmicks such as swappable arms and telescopic necks. If you grew up with the show there is plenty of fun nostalgia and even if you didn't, who won't be charmed by the likes of Fisto and Ram Man? (Yes, there are plenty of innuendos). Some of the side characters are portrayed by massively overqualified actors, with the likes of Idris Elba, Alison Brie and Kristen Wiig on the call sheet and everyone seems to be having a jolly old time. 

Most viewers will have a fun time as well, despite the fact the stakes never feel particularly big. Director Travis Knight knows what's appealing about the property and hones in on the feeling of a kid playing with their toys. The film makes fun of itself without making fun of the audience for liking it and while the story is basic, it has heart. The humour doesn't always land but there are enough laughs that both nostalgia chasing adults and the kids they are introducing to the weird world of 80's toy commercials cum fantasy adventure will be entertained. 

7 Princes of the Universe out of 10. 













Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Summer of 75

Tony opens with a quote from the late chef, and subject of this semi-biopic, Anthony Bourdain's memoir. It goes: "I was — to be frank — a spoiled, miserable, narcissistic, self-destructive and thoughtless young lout, and badly in need of a good ass-kicking." He's not wrong. The Tony (he's much too cool to let people call him Anthony) we meet at the beginning of the film is an insufferable blowhard. He tells anyone who'll listen about his great future as a writer, despite seemingly having an aversion to doing any actual writing. He assumes the panel awarding a prestigious scholarship is too stupid to see his pitch is nonsense bravado. He condescendingly explains the meaning of what he thinks are obscure words, despite not always knowing himself. While he does change over the course of the film, it's hard to map an actual character journey. That's because more than a biopic or chef's origin story, Tony is a summer vibes hangout movie. The story take...

Let's Do The Timewarp

The plot of The End of Oak Street sees an early 80s suburban family, and their entire neighbourhood suddenly transported back to prehistoric times. There's some talk of solar flares and time bubbles by way of an explanation but it's all nonsense in service of one central idea: dinosaurs in suburbia. Turns out this idea is so good it not only sustains the film but leaves you wondering why nobody has done it before. The central family consists of Anne Hathaway's frustrated novelist Denise Platt and her pizza delivering husband Greg (Ewan McGregor), along with their children Audrey (Daisy Stella) and Brian (Christian Convery). While Dad and the kids are exactly the type of characters you would have expected to see in an 80s family adventure but Denise is a more modern female lead. She wants to achieve more than simply being a mother and is unhappy with her simple suburban life. Add in the fact she plays the realist when things kick off and her constant negative vibe can mean ...

That Wasn't All Folks

Coyote vs. Acme was originally scheduled for release way back in 2023 (in the theatrical slot that eventually went to Barbie, no less) but a change of leadership at Warner Bros led to them deciding to scrap the film, figuring a tax break was preferable to releasing a complete movie that hundreds of people had worked on. A combination of public outcry and tenacity from independent distributor Ketchup Entertainment has led to the film finally getting its day in cinemas. Congratulations are in order as the live-action/animated combination comedy is one of the most entertaining family movies of the year. After faulty ACME products foil yet another of his attempts to capture Roadrunner, Wile E. Coyote sees an advert on TV by Will Forte's lazy lawyer Kevin in which he promises a payout for faulty ACME goods. In reality Kevin is a bottom feeder who has made a career out of settling lawsuits against the corporate giants for peanuts, but Wile E. forces him to engage in the trial of the cen...

Icky Ice Cream

Note before the review: It has emerged that generative AI featured in the making of Ice Cream Man and the filmmakers appear to have been less than 100% honest with how much it was used. I have reviewed the film as I saw it and have not taken the way it was made into account. If you (understandably) want nothing to do with a movie that used generative AI then give this one a miss. "The kids have gone fucking insane" screams a father just before his son and daughter, having already mangled his hand in the garbage disposal, set fire to him. How you feel about the idea of that scene pretty much tells you what you will think about the whole of Ice Cream Man, the latest bloodstained offering from gore hound Eli Roth. The premise is a basic one: a quite overtly sinister ice cream man comes to town and, the day after he hands out his freezer based treats, any child who consumed them turns into little murder bots and begin dismembering the local adults. A couple of kids who didn...

Logan Hood?

Everybody has their own version of Robin Hood, whether it's Errol Flynn, Kevin Costner or a dashing cartoon fox. There have also been attempts at taking the tale in a more grounded direction, most notably from Ridley Scott and Russel Crowe in 2010, but nobody has shot an arrow through the neck of the legend quite like Michael Sarnoski does with The Death of Robin Hood.  The film begins with an ageing Robin (Hugh Jackman) tormented by false stories of his own making and filling up his own personal graveyard with the bodies of would be assassins. When the last surviving member of his outlaw band, Little John (a typically chameleonic Bill Skarsgard) asks for his help in reclaiming a stolen farm, he senses the chance to finally receive his "good" death. Instead, he ends up gravely injured and in the care of Jodie Comer's healing Prioress.  Many films have done "realistic" medical violence but the opening act here is on a whole other level. Within minutes of the ...

Thunderbolts and Lightning, Mental Health is Frightening*

  Thunderbolts* takes a bunch of relatively minor MCU characters and scoops them up into a "Suicide Squad" type adventure where they face off against insurmountable odds. Given most of the characters have appeared in TV shows, there is a distinct whiff of Disney+ about proceedings but it is also one of the most solid films Marvel has put out in years. The execs must have known they had something decent on their hands as they waited until a whole weekend after release to spoil the end twist with marketing, as appose to doing it in the trailers.  The titular Thunderbolts are : New Black Widow, Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh), failed Captain America replacement John Walker (Wyatt Russell), former Winter Soldier turned congressman Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan), Russian super soldier and Yelena's adoptive father Red Guardian (David Harbour), Ant Man 2 alumni Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen) and maybe mysterious newcomer Bob (Lewis Pullman). If you follow MCU events you will recognise ...

The Menu Serves up a Macabre Treat

 The menu is a squid ink black culinary satire that skewers the sycophants and disrespectful tourists that steal the joy from being a high end chef (or any form of artist) while also being a three Michelin star dark comedy and acting as a power fantasy of sorts for those in the service industry. The film centres around Anya Taylor-Joy's Margot as she accompanies potential boyfriend Tyler (Nicholas Hoult) to an island to eat at the most exclusive of restraunts. The restraunt, and indeed whole island, are presided over by Chef Slowik who is idolised by his diners and inspires complete devotion from his cult-like staff. The customers comprise the worst, but all too familiar, "enjoyers" of fine dining. There's a hilariously self-indulgent critic, some wall street bro's there for the bragging rights, a washed up, name dropping celebrity and an ultra rich couple with no appreciation for the privilege they enjoy. Perhaps most ridiculous of all is Tyler himself, a gate ke...

Eight is the Loneliest Number of Legs

Spider-Man: Brand New Day swings into cinemas to deliver a much needed box office shot in the arm to the once invincible MCU and prove that the wall crawler is Marvel's most enduring hero. It delivers on the Spiderman feeling but loses steam as the 2 hour 20 minute runtime rolls on.  Since everyone he cares about is either dead or has forgotten him after the events of No Way Home, Peter Parker (Tom Holland) has been focusing solely on his Spider-Man duties. As a result, he has more or less eradicated organised crime in New York and is idolised by the city populace. On the downside, he is devoid of real human contact apart from phone calls to a detective and a grudging pseudo-friendship with gun toting vigilante Frank Castle (Jon Bernthal), aka The Punisher. He still pines after his lost relationships with MJ (Zendaya) and Ned (Jacob Batalon) and it seems his isolation is beginning to have a physical effect on him. This couldn't come at a worse time, with a new threat that can s...

Can I Pet That Dog

  Good Boy sees a man called Todd move into his grandfather's old house in the woods to convalesce from a serious lung condition. Unfortunately, his peace is interrupted by a series of creepy events. It is unclear how much of what is happening is due to the supposedly cursed nature of the house and how much is to do with a relapse of his illness. Standard horror stuff, apart from the fact the entire film is told from the point of view of Todd's faithful companion, a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever named Indy. On paper, a mostly dialogue free horror movie is a risky move, as evidenced by last year's "In a Violent Nature" (a slasher movie shown from the point of view of the wordless killer). Good Boy though has one massive advantage over that movie; instead of spending an hour odd staring at someone's back, we are looking at an adorable dog.  And debut director Ben Leonberg really makes the most of his star attraction, who just so happens to be his own real ...

Talking 'Bout My Girl

In addition to already being the name of a dozen or so movies,  Obsession is a horrendously dull film title. It conjures up images of dated romantic thrillers or bargain basement serial killer flicks. This is a long-winded way of saying this darkly humorous relationship nightmare deserves a better name, as it's anything but stale. Barron "Bear" Bailey (Michael Johnston), Nikki (Inde Navarrette), Ian (Cooper Tomlinson) and Sarah (Megan Lawless) are longtime friends and work colleagues. Bear has long harboured feelings for Nikki and is determined to confess his love, despite warnings from Ian to bide his time and the fact Sarah might be the one who is actually interested in a romantic relationship. After chickening out of an ideal opportunity to tell Nikki how he feels he uses a cheap novelty collectible called a "One Wish Willow" to wish his crush was hopelessly in love with him. Turns out the tacky toy is legit and ties him into a "The Substance" styl...