You Screen, I Scream

The worst thing about Scream 7 isn't actually the film itself. It's the at best cowardly, actions of production company Spyglass Media who fired the star of the previous two films, Melissa Barrera, for daring to have an opinion on genocide. In addition to leaving an icky taste in the mouth, this move cost them fellow star Jenna Ortega and the guy who was supposed to direct the seventh instalment Christopher Landon, resulting in a return to the drawing board to completely rework the film.

The only actually good thing about Scream 7 is also nothing to do with the actual film. Series mainstay Neve Campbell missed the previous instalment after producers lowballed her, but the production chaos of their own making means they've had to go crawling back. So Neve returns with a reported $7 million payday, a producer credit and a story based solely around how legendary her character Sydney is. Go her.

The actual film doesn't warrant much discussion at all, given it does little more than attempt to dine out on nostalgia for the first movie. Sydney has taken up residence in a town the film is at great lengths to tell you is similar to Woodsboro (remember that place from the first film?). She has a daughter who is the same age she was in the first film, called Tatum (remember that name from the first film?). Her daughter wears Sydney's "iconic" leather jacket (remember that from the first film?). Tatum is even introduced in a scene that is almost a complete recreation of Sydney's introduction back in the day.

It's all done with a wink and a nudge, like the film thinks acknowledging its pure nostalgia bait is a suitable substitute for the now completely absent genre commentary that has previously defined the franchise. The plot involves potential AI and deepfakes so is rife for the sort of meta analysis that the original did so well, but their inclusion ends up being nothing more than a way to force in cameos from characters who died in previous films.

Speaking of dead characters, you are left to wonder if the town has already been cleared out by a masked killer given how empty it feels. Chases take place in lifeless streets and a rehearsal for a school show involves about half a dozen people. It's a far cry from the lived in Woodsboro the film is so desperately trying to evoke and feels like a step down in ambition from the last entry's New York escapades.

With so few characters around, there is a pretty small suspect pool to pull from, leading to a killer reveal so lacklustre it comes across like a parody. With strikes, dropouts and re-tooling constantly disrupting production, it really feels like the script by Gus Busik and Kevin Williamson was scribbled together on the drive to the lot on the first day of filming.

Williamson also directs and, having written three of the first four Scream films, this was heralded as a triumphant return for him. He's certainly no Wes Craven in the director's chair but things do look OK and he ups the ante on the blood and guts, delivering a couple of fairly interesting kills. He also mostly does away with the last movie's annoying trope of people being turned into human pin cushions only to be revealed as still alive ten minutes later. Mostly.

Scream 7 needed much more than baseline competent direction to save the day though. It's a cynical rush job that wants us to recognise how legendary its leading lady is while sticking her in a film that tarnishes her legacy. Devoid of ideas (and morals), this should really be the last slashing for Ghostface, but a sizeable box office return means the franchise is likely to stumble on, producing the kind of films it used to mock.

4 blood soaked beer taps out of 10

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