From Little Acorns

Shelby Oaks is the result of the most successful ever horror movie Kickstarter campaign. Helmed by popular YouTube critic Chris Stuckmann, it is positioned as a fright flick "for fans, by fans". While it isn't the obnoxious disaster such a mission statement could have led to, and actually shows a fair amount of promise, it does end up feeling like an homage to better films.

The film opens as a mockumentary detailing the disappearance of a group of ghost hunting YouTubers called the Paranormal Paranoids. It then appears we are dealing with a found footage movie when, twelve years on from the disappearance, Mia (Camille Sullivan) watches creepy footage of her sister Riley (Sarah Durn) who was the Paranoids' on camera psychic. Turns out the film is neither of these things but more of an occult mystery as Mia follows the clues to find her missing sister whom she is sure is still alive.

As you can imagine, a film that begins with two fake out beginnings is a little muddled. It is definitely attempting to be a "vibes" movie, with the emphasis on creepy atmosphere but it's too slow, with the frights too thin on the ground, to be effectively scary. Although we follow Mia, she doesn't really drive the plot and while that is explained come the end, it makes the story feel a bit aimless. The actual reveal of what has been going on is crazy enough to feel worthwhile, even if the timeline of events will leave you scratching your head.

For a first time independent movie, everything looks very polished and while the influences of everything from Lake Mungo to Rosemary's Baby are clear, it does have some of its own style. Perhaps a little too much, with Stuckmann guilty of over-directing on more than a few occasions. The camera whooshes around when you wish it would just stay still and there are continual unnecessary cuts to the main character's distressed face. When you've managed to secure Keith David to deliver an impactful monologue and can't even keep the camera on him while he does, you know things have gotten out of hand.

Aside from David's brief cameo, the acting on display is serviceable rather than impressive, with Robin Bartlett's lady in the woods the only stand out amongst the supporting cast. Camille Sullivan is game in the lead role but the camera spends so much time in her face that she can't help but over-egg the pudding at some points.

Mike Flanagan is on board as executive producer but that feels like a purely money deal and everything on display is a labour of love from Stuckmann. He shows promise but will need to step out from behind the "remember this film?" curtain if he is to have a real impact in the genre.

6 aggro dogs out of 10

Comments

Really Kinky Boots

Pillion has been described by one of its stars, Alexander Skarsgård, as a dom-com. What he means by that is that this motorcycle romance ticks plenty of rom-com boxes while sporting a heavy coat of BDSM and graphic sex scenes. This description actually sells the film a little bit short. Harry Melling plays Colin, an openly gay but quiet and reserved young man who lives at home with his father and terminally ill mother, Peggy. After singing in a Christmas barbershop quartet, Harry is spotted by enigmatic and unfeasibly handsome biker Ray (Skarsgard), who identifies him as someone with subservient tendencies. After a Christmas Day hook-up in a high street alleyway, Ray gives Colin the cold shoulder for months before taking him back to his house. Upon arrival, Colin discovers where his place in the household is, somewhere lower than the dog and slightly above the mud off Ray's shoe. He is tasked with completing all the daily chores, as well as anything else his master deems needing d...

Now You Three Me

Now You See Me: Now You Don't is the somewhat surprising third instalment in the Now You See Me franchise. Surprising in that it has been nine years since the last film and it had looked like the magicians had played their last trick. The film itself is about as unsurprising as it gets, playing out exactly as you expect a pseudo-legacy sequel to play out, hitting many of the familiar beats while introducing a new group of characters to carry the torch when the original cast bow out. The Now You See Me films revolve around stage magicians The Four Horsemen using their unique skills to pull off altruistic thefts that stick it to bad corporations and individuals and redistribute the wealth either to the people said evil entity has wronged, or simply to the fans in attendance. Said Four Horsemen are; illusionist J. Atlas (Jesse Eisenberg), mentalist Merritt McKinney (Woody Harrelson), sleight of hand specialist Jack Wilder (Dave Franco) and either Henley Reeves (Isla Fisher) or Lula M...

Econ Air

Single location thriller Flight Risk is the latest film to suffer from an "over eager" trailer. That is to say, the trailer covers pretty much everything that happens in the movie, more or less in the exact order it occurs. On the plus side, it isn't a film that was ever going to keep any secrets so it doesn't suffer as much as some others have. FBI agent Madelyn Harris (Michelle Dockery) takes a flight with informant Winston (Topher Grace) but a short way into their journey they discover the pilot, played by Mark Wahlberg, is actually a mob hitman there to end them both before Winston can squeal. There is a brief opening at an Alaskan cabin and the finale is on a runway, but for the most part it's just the three of them in the cabin of a small plane. Events unfold almost like a theatrical play as the three talk and argue with intermittent attempts at murder. The main thing to know about Flight Risk is that it is ridiculous. The decisions the characters make a...

This Week at Home

Three films this week. First up is new Amazon Prime comedy Ricky Stanicky . A group of friends blame all their miss adventures on a fictional friend but when their partners become suspicious they hire a boozed up John Cena to play the part of the infamous "Ricky Stanicky". Its stupid and there's no denying the lying bro's deserve more comeuppance than they get but there are some good laughs and an unexpectedly uplifting ending. Next up Jason Statham kicks all kind of ass as The Beekeeper , a retired uber-badass who rampages from call centres to Washington after his elderly neighbour is scammed to suicide. The Stath spouts some insane dialogue, sometimes in something approximated an American accent while a couple of feds on his tale layer on the bee metaphors. Hits all the punching, kicking, shooting and gruffness you want in a Statham movie. Last up is The House of the Devil , an early entry in the fascinating horror filmography of Ti West. An homage to the devil ...

It Sure Does

Love Hurts is Ke Huy Quan's first ever lead role. After decades out the game and struggling to keep his insurance prior to his Oscar winning turn in "Everything Everywhere, All At Once", you can hardly blame him for taking the chance to front a movie. Unfortunately, in Jonathan Eusabio's directorial debut, he has landed in a misfire. Quan plays Marvin Gable, a cheery real estate agent living his best life as he crushes the sales game and keeps everyone in the office (except for his depressed assistant) happy with his home baking. Unbeknownst to his colleagues he used to be a gangland hitman for his mob boss brother "Knuckles" and when the mysterious Rose, who Marvin was supposed to have killed, remerges, big brother dispatches the goons to get some answers from him. Cue high jinks as Marvin battles henchmen kung fu style while trying to keep his current and past lives from colliding. It's a fun idea but nothing quite comes together in the execution. Th...

The Grey Advert

This Russo's action flick has all the ingredients of a top tier spy thriller but will leave you feeling like you've just watched an extended trailer for other films they want to make in the world of the "Grey Man". Ryan Gosling plays Sierra 6 (yes the Sierras are basically 00 agents with the twist they all used to be criminals) and is ideal casting as the sort of ass kicking man of few words this type of film is built around. All the archetypes you would expect are also present and played well by a stellar cast. Chris Evans is unhinged antagonist, Billy Bob Thornton is retired mentor, Rege-Jean Page is crooked politicain and Ana De Armas is the good agent caught in the middle. The plot is just as cookie cutter, involving Gossling being hunted by the people he used to work, computer files nobody was meant to see and hostages needing rescued. Of course, all these things are tropes for a reason and done well (like they are here) equal an enjoyable movie. And the Gre...

Ain't Got Time For No Monkey Business

The journey Monkey Man has taken to get the big screen sounds almost as arduous as the revenge quest its title character embarks upon. About to lose funding due to the pandemic, director/writer/star Dev Patel was able to find a hotel on a small Indonesian island that could house the cast and crew. Not being able to bring in new personnel or equipment the story of making the film is one of cameras dangling from string, tables being glued back together so they can be smashed multiple times and crew members standing in for extras. Not to mention Patel himself breaking his hand during filming. Once completed it sat on a shelf with backers Netflix nervous to release it on their platform due to the movies scathing attitude towards right wing Indian politics. Enter Jordan Peele and his Monkey Paw productions who scooped the project up to give it the cinema release it deserves. The story begins with Patel's unnamed character scraping a living by taking beatings in an underground fi...

I Hate You So Much Right Now

Die My Love opens with a fixed camera observing a couple exploring their new house. This voyeuristic introduction sets up the isolated home as a character in its own right and gives the impression you are about to watch a horror film. In a way, you are. The couple are new mum Grace, played by Jennifer Lawrence, and her partner Jackson (Robert Pattinson), who inherited the house from his late uncle. Although they are playful with each other while checking out their new home, once they move in it becomes clear they have some major problems. Grace stalks through the grass on all fours, hiding from Jackson and a star gazing session foreshadows a fundamental difference in the way they feel about life and their situation. The cosmos makes her feel insignificant while he is thrilled at the thought of being part of something larger. As time goes on, Grace feels more and more isolated, while Jackson is either physically or emotionally absent, and her behaviour becomes increasingly erratic...

Vanity Unfair

One thing The Substance is not, is subtle. It shouts it's themes loudly. It bathes the viewers eyeballs with beauty and then assaults them with grotesque body horror of the highest order. It infests the ears with horrible squelching, popping and cracking. It's quite an experience. Demi Moore plays Oscar winning actress Elizabeth Sparkle, who now hosts a daytime yoga show produced by odious TV exec Dennis Quad. Deemed over the hill on her fiftieth birthday (despite looking like Demi Moore) and let go she turns to a shady procedure that involves injecting herself with "The Substance". This births the young and pristine Sue (Margaret Qualley) who picks up where Elizabeth thinks her life should be, becoming her own replacement on TV. The problem is, the two halves need to share, with each being awake for seven days at a time and like feeding your Mogwai after midnight, there are extreme consequences to not respecting the balance. The Substance is a high saturation pa...

Call the Mother F'n Midwife

Wicked Little Letters opens by telling the viewer that the film they are about see is a lot closer to real life events than they would think. While there are plenty of similarities between the film and the real life case of abusive letters in a 1920s sea side town the nastier edges have been sanded off to make a crowd pleasing comedy. The story centres around neighbours Edith Swan (Olivia Coleman) and Rose Gooding (Jessie Buckley) after Edith begins to receive foul-mouthed letters from an anonymous ne'er-do-well. They are complete opposites, with hard drinking and foul-mouthed single mum Rose putting the frighteners up the street while the prim and proper Edith still lives at home with her overbearing parents. Despite their differences the two had struck up a friendship but a falling out prior to the start of the letters arriving means Rose is suspect number one. The story, while slight, is interesting and the period setting is well realised but the film's two main strength...

Dan Says its Alright

Search This Blog