Skip to main content

Eyes, Eyes Baby

 


You would be forgiven for thinking Heart Eyes is a simple holiday themed slasher movie riding the coattails of 2023's Thanksgiving. While it takes place on Valentine's Day and features a killer dispatching people with a cupid themed arsenal of weapons, that is only half the story. What Heart Eyes really is, is a full on rom com with a slasher slapped over the top of it. How does that work? Thanks to a heightened comic tone and some sharp writing, pretty bloody well.

Olivia Holt plays Ally, a love cynic who stalks her ex online and whose bitterness has seeped into her work, endangering her job as a marketing agent for a jewellery company. She has a meet cute in a coffee shop with Mason Gooding's Jay, only to later find out he has been hired by her company to fix her campaign and may be a threat to her position. True love sceptic forced to work with a hot new guy (who happens to be a hopeless romantic) under tense circumstances is a classic rom com set up and there is even  an overly sexed, super supportive best friend. There's just one slight wrinkle, our budding love birds catch the eye of the Heart Eyes Killer, a serial killer who surfaces every Valentine's Day to murder loved up couples. Consequently, the central couple have all their standard romantic moments; learning each other's story, near miss first kiss, realisation of their feelings, etc.. while being chased by a masked killer. We also periodically check in with Jordana Brewster and  Devon Sawa as detectives (in a nod to Jordana's Fast and Furious connections) Hobbs and Shaw, who are on the trail of the Heart Eyes Killer.

If the premise doesn't make it clear, this is a wonderfully weird film that takes a bit of adjusting to. The dialogue is stereotypical romance banter tuned up to ten (there is one phone call where someone speaks almost entirely in the names of rom coms) and logic takes a back seat. In the world of Heart Eyes, abandoned theme parks are mere seconds away from upmarket city centre living apartments and police stations are 90% empty, barely functional buildings. Taking this approach really pays off with some laugh out loud humour and characters entertaining enough that you aren't wishing they would just hurry up and  get killed, as is the case with many traditional slasher films. Not that the movie skimps on the slasher stuff, in amongst all the rom com beats you get a glut of entertainingly OTT kills, a good bit of tension and plenty of "where did he come from/go?" moments.  The titular death dealer looks cool too, with his glowing heart eyes and leather clad look (killing couples is his "kink") he kills people with cupid arrows, love heart handled daggers or whatever nearby apparatus he can lay his hands on. 

The central couple are both great, although the film does suffer from the common problem of there being no discernible reason these two people with completely different attitudes would be drawn to each other at the beginning beyond the fact they are both really good looking. The genre blend certainly helps here as fighting for your life together is bound ferment a little closeness. It lacks it surprises but that's not really the point here, you are waiting to see how the slasher and romance beats interact with each other rather than waiting for a shock.

Director Josh Ruben already has two entertaining and fairly unique movies under his belt with "Scared Me" and "Werewolves Within", this is another step in that direction and his strongest effort to date. Heart Eyes is destined to become either a franchise starter or a cult favourite. 

8 Its isn't you, its me's out of 10


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Its Guys Like You Mickey

The title character of Mickey 17 is the 17th iteration of Mickey Barnes, a failed entrepreneur played by Robert Pattinson who has fled Earth (and a particularly unpleasant loan shark) by signing up to be an "expendable" on a voyage to colonise a new planet. This means he takes on all the most dangerous jobs and simply has his personality and memories uploaded to a newly printed body upon his inevitable death. By the time we meet him, lying at the bottom of a frozen ravine waiting to die, the four year space journey is over and and the ship's inhabitance are trying to get a foothold on the frozen hellscape of planet Niflheim. The first portion of the film sees Mickey recount the events that led to him being in such a situation, fleeing Earth after the collapse of his and dubious best friend Steven Yuen's macaron business, beeing manipulated into becoming an expendable, his relationship with security officer Nasha (Naomi Ackie) and the deaths of many of the proceeding ...

Same Old World?

  By the time the credits roll you might be wondering if the title Captain America : Brave New World is ironic. This may be the MCU's big return after over a year on hiatus (I don't care about technicalities, Deadpool and Wolverine is a Fox movie through and through) but there is precious little new on display here and it would be a Reed Richards level stretch to describe a would be political thriller that is so afraid of politics as brave. On the one hand, Marvel are in a bit of a bind. Pillared for continuously dishing up more of the same but when they do try something a little fresh, a la The Eternals, long time fans shy away from it. Still, even in creative paralysis, such an experienced studio should be able to produce a higher quality product than this.  The Captain America of the title is of course no longer Steve Rogers. The shield has passed to his wingman Sam Wilson (Anthony Mackie), formerly know as Falcon. He has not been dosed with the "Super Serum" of h...

The Show Won't Go On

The Last Showgirl opens with Pamela Anderson's Shelly Gardner standing awkward and alone on stage, lying about her age as she attempts a dance audition for the first time in decades. We then cut to the hustle and bustle of the dressing room of "The Razzle Dazzle", the Vegas show Shelly has been a part of for thirty years. Full of warmth and camaraderie, the life she is used to presents a stark contrast to the future she is facing. Outdated and playing to empty seats, the Razzle Dazzle is set to close in two weeks, prompting Shelly to contemplate life without the thing she has based her entire existence around. This is an understated and sombre character study, presenting a far less glamorous view of Sin City than we are used to seeing. The glory days of the Vegas showgirl have long passed and despite her being one of the scenes biggest stars, have left Shelly with precious little to show for her life beyond glorious memories. Here home is modest to say the least and estr...

2024 at the Cinema

Bye bye 2024, time to put your ducks in a row. If ducks are films I saw in the cinema. As ever, ranking is purely my opinion (although my opinion is obviously correct), a movie needs to have been released in the UK during calendar year 2024 and I have to have seen it on the big screen for it to be eligible.   60. The Strangers: Chapter 1 Unrelentingly tedious reboot of an already mediocre home invasion thriller that ramps up nothing but the banality. If your idea of entertainment is watching an insufferable couple hide while a man and a woman in stupid masks walk about slowly then this is the film for you. Otherwise the only scary thing here is the fact they have already filmed chapters two and three.  59. In a Violent Nature You don't need to make people drink curdled milk to know it would taste awful. Similarly, you shouldn't need to make people watch a slasher film that follows the killer for the whole runtime to know it's a terrible idea. Dialogue is replaced by endless...

Papa's Got a Brand New Black Bag

  Black Bag lays its cards on the table early on. A sumptuous follow shot tracks Micheal Fassbender from the street, down to the depths of a trendy London club and back out again where his colleague informs him a nasty mcguffin has been stolen from the intelligence agency they work at and there are five possible suspects, including Fassbender's wife. He has one week to find the traitor or lives will be lost, setting the scene for cat and mouse spy antics. Don't be holding out for some James Bond style action though (even if Pierce Brosnan is present as the man in charge), director Steven Soderbergh is here to deliver a talky espionage thriller based around beautiful and very intelligent people looking cool and acting smart. An "Ocean's 11" set in the world of British spies. If you think that sounds pretty great, then you are correct. The film is an ensemble piece but Fassbender is more or less the lead as spy catcher George, known for being ice cold even amongst h...