Skip to main content

Put on Your Gladiator Rags


 If you're watching the opening battle of Gladiator 2, where siege tower adorned ships attack a city,  and thinking "this isn't how it would have gone down", then this is not the film for you. Ridley Scott's twenty four years in the making sequel is a historical epic with emphasis firmly on the epic part. Is it as good as its predecessor? Obviously not. But you'll be too enthralled by the spectacle to care. 

Picking up sixteen years on from the events of the first movie, Paul Mescal is Hanno, a Roman by birth who has settled in Numidia. Pedro Pascal's General Acacius brings his Roman army to conquer the city, leaving Hanno in chains and his wife dead. After watching the captive Numidians in a forced fight against some seriously savage  (and ripped) monkeys, a wealthy slave owner called Macrinus (Denzel Washington) is impressed by Hanno's rage and brings him to Rome to fight in the colosseum, promising him a chance to kill the general if he impresses in the arena. Unbeknownst to Hanno, General Acacius did not want to sack his home and is plotting to oust the mental case twin emperors who keep making him wage war. Cue insanely grandiose fight sequences and political skullduggery. 

The tale of a gladiator fighting for his life and ultimately playing a large part in the future of Rome is all very reminiscent of the first film (it's a Gladiator movie, what else was it going to be about?) but things are updated for the current climate.  Whereas Russel Crowe's Maximus funnelled his rage into a stoic determination, the central character Mescal portrays is a far more emotional one. Biting monkeys and spouting poetry, he wears his pain for all to see, in keeping with a more modern ideal of masculinity.  The modern lens extends to the world as a whole too, Maximus still clung on to a sense of duty and "the dream of Rome", while Hanno (to start with at least) couldn't give a toss about a place that has clearly succumbed to greed and corruption, with starving people lining the streets rather than well wishers. Ridley Scott has even described Washington's Macrinus as "a billionaire who wants to take over the government", reminding us of nobody I'm sure.

Where Gladiator 2 most shines is, unsurprisingly, in the colossal action. The anti is suitably upped this time around with navel battles in a water (and shark) filled colosseum and a rhino riding arena champion among the highlights. Huge sets, including the colosseum, were built for filming and the effort really pays off, delivering a sense of scale that would have been nigh on impossible to achieve with CG effects alone. Mescal shows he has action chops, throwing himself into the violence with an infectious glee and its nice to see him displaying his considerable talents in a film that doesn't kick you in the soul repeatedly.

It's a good job the action is so strong because cracks start to show when the film slows down. There is a larger emphasis on the politicking this time round, not necessarily a problem, but it does feel a little bit like two separate movies running side by side. It's also unclear how the twin emperors came to power and the senate dynamics are under explored making it difficult to fully invest in the broader scope of proceedings. Plenty of these scenes are still fun though, with Joseph Quinn and Fred Hechinger camping it up a storm as the mad brothers in charge and Denzel Washington absolutely burning up the screen every time he appears.

The film does fall into the legacy sequel trap of being too in awe of its predecessor. What begins as a new story ends up buried in references to Maximus and former emperor Marcus Aurelius, to the point where this would almost feel like a coda to Gladiator were it not for the set piece muscle on display. It's also a shame that only returning cast member Connie Nelson has her character reduced to evangelising the men from the first film while asking the men of this one for help.

Gladiator 2 lacks the heft of the 2000 epic and is unlikely to find itself burdened with that films haul of Oscars. What it doesn't lack is big film making, packing in massive scale and outsized performance. The kind of thing we see all too rarely and should celebrate when we can.

8 monkey politicians out of 10.





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

One Dog and his Man

Heart of the Beast is a man and his dog against nature film. As such, it requires a lead who can be tough but also vulnerable and has the screen presence to draw the audience in without dialogue. This film has such a lead. It also has Brad Pitt. See, the star of the show really is ex-army dog Odin (played by a German Shepherd named Uber, with three of his sons helping out). Odin has metal teeth, an artificial leg and suffers from PTSD but soldiers on with the joyous spirit only a dog can muster. It's just as well, since he is the only thing holding his human, retired Special Forces Command Sergeant Major James Belmont (Pitt) together. Belmont is himself haunted by nightmares of the mission that left him and Odin as sole survivors and it's safe to say he isn't a people person. The pair are exploring the Alaskan wilderness when a potential heart attack leads to Belmont crashing his little plane and leaving them with an arduous and dangerous trek back to civilisation. That thi...

Sick in the Mud

Like its shape shifting titular character, Clayface attempts to be many things. Billed as DC's first horror movie, it is also a supervillain origin story, a modern-gothic romance, a tragedy and a crime drama. With all this in the pot, what it actually ends up feeling like is a throwback to the '90s/early 2000s era of comic book adaptations. A time of modest budgets for the genre, when studios cared less about shared world continuity and were prepared to let filmmakers have some fun with weird characters.  Tom Rhys Harris stars as Matt Hagen, an actor who got out of the Gotham City slums and is now Academy Award nominated. His high flying life comes crashing down when he has a one night stand with the girlfriend of a prominent Gotham mobster and is left hideously scarred by the scorned gangster's vengeance. With his career in ruins, he finds showbiz loyalty in short supply as his manager, lawyer and possibly even his best friend quickly abandon him. Scientist Dr. Caitlyn Co...

Enter the Dragon Punch

  Street Fighter 2 was a phenomenon when it blew through arcades and home consoles back in the early 90s. There have been many more instalments in the franchise since but while each one has been a big deal in the game industry, none of them have come close to penetrating pop culture the same way. It's no surprise then that Street Fighter takes most of its cues and characters from that breakout hit. Whether nostalgia for a mostly plotless thirty-plus year old game warrants a third live action adaptation, after 1994's film with the same name and 2009's Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, is another matter. One thing this iteration has going for it over those that came before is the fact it actually features a fighting tournament (the entire premise of the games), albeit fairly briefly. All the Street Fighter 2 characters make appearances (as do a couple from later games) of varying importance. Chief players are M.Bison (David Dastmalchian), evil tournament organiser looki...

Dance of Death

John Wick spin off,  Ballerina , swaps out Keanu Reaves (mostly) for Ana de Armas but almost everything else remains pretty similar. We still have the intricately choreographed fighting in a dark gloss colour palette, minimal plot propped up by ridiculous lore and the same waffling dialogue. Series die hards rejoice, but for someone who zoned out somewhere during Chapter 3 and was distinctly unimpressed with John Wick 4, these films are becoming something of a chore. Eve Macarro (de Armas) is orphaned at a young age when assassins break into her home in an attempt to abduct her and her father (also an assassin) dies fighting them off. She is then raised by the "Ruska Roma" (more assassins, roughly 40% of the worlds population are assassins in the world of John Wick), who train her in the arts of both ballet and murder. After somebody from the faction that killed her dad attempts to off her, she embarks on a revenge quest, despite being explicitly forbidden from doing so by R...

Stars and Their Cars

Crime 101 is named for the California freeway one of the characters commits all his robberies along. It also doubles as describing his MO, he is successful because he makes sure he gets the fundamentals right every time.  It can also describe the film itself, which nails the basics of making a slick crime thriller better than just about any other movie has in quite some time. The professional thief is Mike Davis (Chris Hemsworth), a meticulous planner whose jobs never lead to anyone being hurt and are so well executed that nobody even has any idea they are all the work of one man. Nobody that is, except for Mark Ruffalo's Detective Lou Lubesnick, who is determined to catch the "101 Robber" even though his obsession is starting to lead to him being ostracised in the precinct. Both characters come into contact with high value insurance broker Sharon (Halle Berry) as Mike plans a big score and Lou joins the dots in an attempt to track him down. A potential fly in the ointmen...

The Bourne IT

The set up for The Amateur is a well worn one, a man loses his wife in a terrorist attack and goes on a mission of revenge. The twist is, that while Rami Malek does play a man with a particular set of skills, they aren't the ones you would expect. Charlie Heller is a socially awkward CIA cryptographer with precisely zero fighting ability and no experience using firearms. He is though, a technological genious who invented half the agencies cyber security and can track and predict patterns like a computer. When his blatantly shady boss, played with smug glee by Holt Mccallany, refuses to act on Charlie's info about the killers he blackmails him for some training and the green light to pursue the perpetrators himself. The two main questions are, can the mild mannered tech guy thrive in the field and is this twist on the formulae enough to carry a fairly by the numbers espionage thriller? The answer to both is, pretty much, yes. Malek is tailor made for roles like this and it'...

Predator Chadlands

After revitalising the Predator franchise with 2022's Prey, director Dan Trachtenberg brings us a very different take on the extraterrestrial big game hunter. In Predator: Badlands , the titular monster is the main character. Considering how terrible that premise could have been, we actually end up with a decent action adventure movie. Our protagonist is Dek, a Yautja (the species name of the Predators) who is considered something of a runt. Such a runt in fact, that his dad wants to kill him for being a pitiful disgrace to the clan. After his brother saves him, he makes his way to "the Death Planet" Genna to hunt a supposedly unkillable monster in order to show his father who is boss and force the rest of the clan to put some respect on his name. When he gets there he discovers that, not only is all the wildlife deadly, but Weyland-Yutani ( yes, the evil corporation from Alien) have sent a bunch of synths there to collect and weaponise his prospective trophy. He forms an...

A Family Account

  Considering its lead character is (among many other things) a mathematical genius, it sure took the film makers a long time to crunch the numbers on a sequel to 2016's "The Accountant". Still, better late than never and The Accountant 2 is a blast, even if it is a very different film than its predecessor. Ben Affleck returns as Christian Wolf, an autistic accountant \ one man army who is about the only person more dangerous than the people he cooks the books for. When Raymond King (J.K Simmons) is killed, his successor as Deputy Director of the Treasury Department, Marybeth Medina (Cynthia Addai-Robinson), calls in Wolf to help her crack the case her former boss was working on. It isn't long before Jon Bernthal's Braxton (Christian's estranged brother) joins the party and the trio embark on an absolutely non sensical investigation involving human traffickers and acquired savant syndrome.  The first movie padded out it central story with a side plot of Simmo...

That Wasn't All Folks

Coyote vs. Acme was originally scheduled for release way back in 2023 (in the theatrical slot that eventually went to Barbie, no less) but a change of leadership at Warner Bros led to them deciding to scrap the film, figuring a tax break was preferable to releasing a complete movie that hundreds of people had worked on. A combination of public outcry and tenacity from independent distributor Ketchup Entertainment has led to the film finally getting its day in cinemas. Congratulations are in order as the live-action/animated combination comedy is one of the most entertaining family movies of the year. After faulty ACME products foil yet another of his attempts to capture Roadrunner, Wile E. Coyote sees an advert on TV by Will Forte's lazy lawyer Kevin in which he promises a payout for faulty ACME goods. In reality Kevin is a bottom feeder who has made a career out of settling lawsuits against the corporate giants for peanuts, but Wile E. forces him to engage in the trial of the cen...

Eight is the Loneliest Number of Legs

Spider-Man: Brand New Day swings into cinemas to deliver a much needed box office shot in the arm to the once invincible MCU and prove that the wall crawler is Marvel's most enduring hero. It delivers on the Spiderman feeling but loses steam as the 2 hour 20 minute runtime rolls on.  Since everyone he cares about is either dead or has forgotten him after the events of No Way Home, Peter Parker (Tom Holland) has been focusing solely on his Spider-Man duties. As a result, he has more or less eradicated organised crime in New York and is idolised by the city populace. On the downside, he is devoid of real human contact apart from phone calls to a detective and a grudging pseudo-friendship with gun toting vigilante Frank Castle (Jon Bernthal), aka The Punisher. He still pines after his lost relationships with MJ (Zendaya) and Ned (Jacob Batalon) and it seems his isolation is beginning to have a physical effect on him. This couldn't come at a worse time, with a new threat that can s...