Super Money Brothers

The minute an Illumination Super Mario movie was announced you knew what was on the cards and this is is exactly that, a mostly by the numbers crowd pleaser with a focus on easy laughs and merchandising opportunities. The good news is it's about as good a version of that as we were ever going to get.

The story begins with Mario and Luigi (Mario Mario and Luigi Mario to give them there full names) trying to boost their fledgling plumbing business by helping out with a massive flood in downtown Brooklyn. This leads to them being sucked into the Mushroom Kingdom, via a green pipe naturally. The film is full of trappings from the game, with power ups, karts and a Princess obsessed Bowser as the antagonist. It does flip things round with Luigi being the damsel (da man sel?) in distress while Peach is fearless leader, probably a necessary change for 2023. Other Mario staples like Toad and Shy Guys make an appearance and there is a trip to visit "The King of the Kongs" (Nintendo really flexing that they won that 1983 lawsuit), although dinosaur sidekick Yoshi is saved for the inevitable sequel.

The animation style isn't anything to write home about but the quality is high, the water in the subway scene looks so real its a wonder the screen didn't get water damage. The voice acting is all adequate with the "its a meee" Mario voice being relegated to an early commercial while for the rest of the film Chris Pratt uses a tone thats just about different enough from his regular voice that it isn't distracting. Not so Seth Rogan as Donkey Kong who just jumps in there full tilt, determined to leave no doubt who is the sound booth. He manages to avoid trampling the movie as he's only a side character. The standout voice belongs, unsurprisingly, to Jack Black's Bowser. He's having a blast playing the big reptile as a lovelorn idiot and it makes you wish he had been given a bit more time and freedom to cut loose.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie is really more money printing exercise than creative endeavour but it is kind of fun and certainly not offensive. If it does rub you up the wrong way you better take cover as I sense there's alot more coming down the green pipeline.

6 power ups out of 10 potentially deadly funi.

Comments

You Must Walk 500 Miles

As far as descriptive titles go, The Long Walk nails it. In an undefined near future, a bunch of teenage boys compete to see who can walk the farthest, with riches and a wish of their choice the reward for the last one standing. The catch? There is only one winner and if you stop, or drop below the allotted 3-mile-an-hour pace, you get shot. As if that wasn't bad enough, they have to march under the watchful eye of Mark Hamill's "Major", a military hard ass who, in the time-honoured tradition of old men sending young men to their deaths, constantly barks platitudes about how brave and noble the competitors are while clearly not giving a toss about them. Given the nature of the film, it's something of an ensemble piece, with a glut of young actors you'll recognise, but the main focus is on Ray (Cooper Hoffman) and Pete (David Jonsson). While a level of camaraderie emerges between many of the boys, it is the friendship between these two that forms the core of ...

Don't be a Stranger

The Strangers: Chapter 2 skulks into cinemas a little over a year after the underwhelming Chapter 1. While this is, probably, a little better than last year's instalment it still doesn't feel like a worthwhile use of anyone's time. It very much is a "chapter 2" situation rather than a sequel. Events pick up directly after the finale of the last film and end on a cliffhanger, with the already filmed third set to finish the story. Quite why this approach was taken is a mystery, as there isn't anything deeper or more expansive going on than what could easily fit inside a ninety minute slasher movie. We open with the local diner learning that one half of the stalked couple, Maya (Madelaine Petsch), survived being stabbed. We then cut to her in a hospital with no other patients and about two members of staff, both of whom soon disappear so that Maya can be stalked by the masked "strangers". That is pretty much the movie. Maya is chased, escapes, there i...

The Family That Fights Ghosts Together..

The Conjuring: Last Rites is the fourth instalment in the blockbuster horror franchise and picks up five years after the previous entry, with Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) now retired from the paranormal investigation game. When a spooky mirror from their past remerges, they, along with now adult daughter Judy (Mia Tomlinson), find they may have no choice but to get their ghost busting on one last time. So, the main problem with The Conjuring movies, has always been the "based on a true story" aspect of their presentation. Sure, Ed and Lorraine were indeed really people and they did in fact investigate claims of paranormal activity. Unlike their film counterparts however, they are well known to have been a couple of frauds. To begin with, this wasn't much of an issue, as horror films loosely (read: not really at all) based on true stories are common, but as the franchise progresses, and the Warrens are painted as more and more heroic, it becom...

There Can Only be One

Trailers for Him had Jordan Peele's name slapped all over them, which is understandable from a marketing point of view. In reality it is simply produced by the"Get Out" directors company, Monkeypaw Productions. It is actually directed by Justin Tipping, from a script he co-wrote with Skip Bronkie and Zak Akers. The prevalence of Peele's name in the advertising means the film is bound to draw unflattering comparisons with his own work, which is a shame as the film has its own merits. Cameron "Cam" Cade (Tyriq Withers) grew up idolising Isaiah White (Marlon Wayans), star quarterback of the San Antonio Saviours. When White suffers a grisly injury during the Super Bowl, Cade's father tells the young fan that real men like his idol make sacrifices for greatness. Fast forward about a decade and a half and Cam is about to be drafted to the NFL, where he is tipped as a potential challenger to White's "Greatest Of All Time" status. When a mascot in ...

Fight For Your Right

The debate about the "Great American Novel" (a book that encapsulates the spirit and character of the United States) continues to rage. While One Battle After Another is loosely inspired by a book (Thomas Pynchon's Vineland), it feels like Paul Thomas Anderson's second stab, after "There Will Be Blood", at crafting the Great American Movie. This is a very different beast to his 2007 masterpiece, both in setting and tone, but is just as epic and wide reaching in its own way. Perfidia Beverly Hills (Teyana Taylor) is the leader of militant revolutionary group "The French 75" and her partner Pat Calhoun (Leonardo DiCaprio) is the team explosive expert. The movie opens with the self-styled freedom fighters breaking a bunch of detained immigrants out of a holding camp. This brings them into the crosshairs of Colonel Stephen J. Lockjaw who begins pursuing the group. After being arrested, Perfidia disappears, leaving Pat to raise their baby daughter in hi...

Fortune Favours the Rich

For a comedy, Good Fortune paints one hell of a bleak (and therefore, let's be honest, probably accurate) picture of the current iteration of the American Dream. Money begets money and a life of cold plunges, ridiculously expensive watches and "business meetings" that consist of all expenses paid meals with your mates. Meanwhile, hard work begets nothing but more hard work in a gig economy not even an Angel can help you navigate. Said Angel is Keanu Reeves's Gabriel, a small winged minor deity who is in charge of preventing people from crashing as a result of texting while driving. He is desperate to make a more meaningful impact so, against the instruction of his boss, he decides to try and save a lost soul. He spots Arj (Aziz Ansari), a down on his luck, wannabe documentary maker, scraping by doing odd jobs via apps and sleeping in his car. When Arj is fired by wealthy tech bro Jeff for using the company credit card, he hits rock bottom and Gabriel attempts to inspi...

Econ Air

Single location thriller Flight Risk is the latest film to suffer from an "over eager" trailer. That is to say, the trailer covers pretty much everything that happens in the movie, more or less in the exact order it occurs. On the plus side, it isn't a film that was ever going to keep any secrets so it doesn't suffer as much as some others have. FBI agent Madelyn Harris (Michelle Dockery) takes a flight with informant Winston (Topher Grace) but a short way into their journey they discover the pilot, played by Mark Wahlberg, is actually a mob hitman there to end them both before Winston can squeal. There is a brief opening at an Alaskan cabin and the finale is on a runway, but for the most part it's just the three of them in the cabin of a small plain. Events unfold almost like a theatrical play as the three talk and argue with intermittent attempts at murder. The main thing to know about Flight Risk is that it is ridiculous. The decisions the characters make a...

Man About Town

Caught Stealing is not your typical Darren Aronofsky film. More playful and less mired misery, it feels like the director having a stab at a Guy Ritchie-esque caper around late 90's Manhattan. For the most part, it works. Austin Butler is Henry "Hank" Thompson, a New York bartender and former baseball prodigy. When he and girlfriend Yvonne (Zoe Kravitz) are asked to keep an eye on Hank's neighbours cat, they end up in the crosshairs of Russian gangsters, Yiddish hitmen and "concerned" cops. This may be more playful in tone than his usual fare, but this is still an Aronofsky film, so Hank is a man with an obsession, in this case baseball. His devotion to his beloved San Francisco Giants dictates his mood and is the foundation of his relationship with his equally obsessed mother, whom he calls every day to discuss their prospects with. Unfortunately, his enthusiasm is intrinsically linked to his own cut-short ball career and the ghost of what could have been...

The Devil is in the Pigtails

Whatever your opinion of David Gordon Green's Halloween trilogy its hard to deny he took a big swing at it and The Exorcist: Believer has a lot in common with the director's 2018 revitalisation of that franchise. Like Halloween 2018 this film ignores every previous sequel and is a direct follow up to the original Exorcist. Like Halloween 2018 this film sticks pretty closely to beats of the original but with heightened stakes (more kills for Halloween, twice the number of possessed kids here). Unlike Halloween 2018 this film isn't a complete success. Not that The Exorcist: Believer is a write off by any means. Having two friends be possessed is a nice way of distinguishing proceedings from the sea of other possession films we have seen over the last few years and adds an extra layer to dealing with the situation, not only does the worried father need to deal with what is happening to his daughter but also with another family and their beliefs on what should be done. The pos...

Honey Doesn't

Honey Don't is the second film from the director/writer team-up of Ethan (one half of the brothers) Coen and his wife Tricia Cook. Like their previous effort, "Drive Away Dolls", it is wonderfully queer but lacks any of the sharpness and precise pacing that typifies a classic Coen brothers movie. Margaret Qualley is Honey O'Donahue (a name you will hear spoken a LOT over the course of the film), a private investigator in Bakersfield. She is essentially a classic noir gumshoe detective transported to sun-bleached, modern-day California. After a would-be-client dies, Honey begins an investigation that has her cross paths with Chris Evans's skeezy preacher and the mysterious French woman who represents his business partners. She is also attempting to provide support to her sister, who has a small army of children, including an eldest daughter who she is constantly at loggerheads with. All while working her way through the lesbian population of town, including embarki...

Dan Says its Alright

Search This Blog