Skip to main content

Posts

Summer of Discontent

  Unlike say, Final Destination, I Know What You Did Last Summer is not an idea ripe for remakes and sequels. Once you've told the story of a group of people leaving someone for dead, only to be hunted down a year later in grizzly revenge, there isn't really anywhere else to go while sticking close enough to the formulae to warrant being a successor. Its not a major surprise then that this sequel to the 1997 movie of the same name does little more than tread most of the same water as its precursor while trying to reference and acknowledge the original at every opportunity.  This time round, the central cast are a little older than the high school graduates of 97 but still act like teenagers. Some of the clunkiest exposition dialogue of recent memory attempts to fill out their back stories but you're left with a group of characters you can't wait to watch die. This would be fine if it wasn't for the fact that, for most of the runtime, the inept hook wielding killer ...
Recent posts

Faster Than a Speeding Bullet

When James Gunn was placed in charge of rebooting the ailing DC cinematic universe the move came with a declaration, from now on the focus would be on creating great individual movies with loose connections, rather than to obsessively cram everything into a convoluted cinematic continuity. With that in mind, here is the first of their new films,  DCU : Phase 1 : Gods and Monsters : Superman .  Glibness aside, it is just called Superman, and while there is certainly some filling out of the world going on, it does all seem to be in service of telling the story. A brief bit of text fills us in on Gunn's world, letting us know super powered people are fairly common place and Superman is the strongest of them all, before we are introduced to a bloodied Supes, his dog Krypto and his robot staffed Fortress of Solitude. The plot has plenty going on, with a potential war, revelations about Superman's parents, citizen's mistrust of the Man of Steel and interactions with "The Jus...

2025 Halfway Ranking

2025 is halfway done so its time to get ranking. Only films I've seen for the first time in the cinema are eligible and we are talking UK releases from 1st January to 30th of June. If your favourite film of the year isn't here, I didn't see it on the big screen. If it is here but low, feel free to tell me how wrong I am.  39.  Hurry Up Tomorrow When a musician decides to write and star in their own movie the results are often pompus nonsense, so the problem with this effort from Abel "The Weeknd" Tesfaye isn't that its ridiculously self-aggrandizing (although it very much is), its that its unrelentingly dull, hideous to look at and worse to listen to. The star should have just made a concert movie.  38. A Working Man Jason Statham is the perfect Hollywood action man, able to look cool shooting guns, punching peoples lights out or driving fast cars. Sadly, the meandering script and piss poor production values on display here give him no chance to shine and leav...

Romancing The Shark

  Dangerous Animals features a psychotic Jai Courtney feeding unsuspecting tourists to sharks and videoing the carnage for his (and possibly other peoples) pleasure. It's an unhinged performance and the film has some of the same sweaty ickiness that permeates classic Australian horror movies. Unfortunately, proceedings are hindered by some cringeworthy dialogue and focus on a hard to buy romance. The film opens with an unsuspecting couple of travellers hiring Courtney's shark diving boat, despite the fact he instantly identifies himself as shady (he literally checks with them that nobody knows where they are), and sure enough, one of them is soon dead and the other a prisoner.  We then cut to a meet cute of sorts between hard shelled American drifter Zephyr (Hassie Harrison) and local real estate agent Moses (Josh Heuston). They are stereotypical opposites, her cynical and untethered, him a romantic and stable, but bond over a love of surfing and end up having a one night sta...

Dance of Death

John Wick spin off,  Ballerina , swaps out Keanu Reaves (mostly) for Ana de Armas but almost everything else remains pretty similar. We still have the intricately choreographed fighting in a dark gloss colour palette, minimal plot propped up by ridiculous lore and the same waffling dialogue. Series die hards rejoice, but for someone who zoned out somewhere during Chapter 3 and was distinctly unimpressed with John Wick 4, these films are becoming something of a chore. Eve Macarro (de Armas) is orphaned at a young age when assassins break into her home in an attempt to abduct her and her father (also an assassin) dies fighting them off. She is then raised by the "Ruska Roma" (more assassins, roughly 40% of the worlds population are assassins in the world of John Wick), who train her in the arts of both ballet and murder. After somebody from the faction that killed her dad attempts to off her, she embarks on a revenge quest, despite being explicitly forbidden from doing so by R...

Mind The Gap

The Phoenician Scheme is a Wes Anderson film. Some people will say that is all the review that is required as all his films are the same. That's a pretty reductive view, not to mention ironic when, in an age of movies becoming increasingly uniform, Anderson is one of precious few filmmakers whose work is wholly distinct from the pack. The fact nobody else can make things look and feel the way he does should be a massive compliment, not a knock. He is revisiting familiar themes here but in a slightly more plot focused way (its certainly more accessible than the meta stylings of previous film, Asteroid City) and while there is the usual galaxy of star names in the cast the story is focused mainly on three characters and one central relationship. Anatole "Zsa-Zsa" Korda (Benicio del Toro)  is a wealthy industrialist, enemy of major Western governments and the target of never ending assignation attempts. Determined to see his most ambitious scheme yet through to completion, ...

Hurry up and (Week)End

  The trailers for Hurry Up Tomorrow were fairly enigmatic (although claims to be a "cinematic odyssey" should have raised alarm bells), keeping the exact nature of the film under wraps. They do, however,  go big on it being a project from "It Comes at Night" director, Trey Edward Shults. Turns out this is a misdirect since, while Shults does direct and co-write, this is really a baffling vanity project for star, producer and writer, Abel "The Weeknd" Tesfaye. If, like me, you are only vaguely aware of the musical stylings of Mr Weeknd then this monotonous preen is not going to endear him to you. If you are a fan, maybe stick to getting your hands on the accompanying album and leave it at that. In fairness to the musician, he has tried to make something of substance and his pitch must have been fairly compelling as, in addition to Shults on directing duty, he has convinced rising stars Jenna Ortega and Barry Keoghan to get involved. It is nobody concerned...